


chaos, awaken

by melokiid



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Also Soft Kylo Ren, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Angst, Arranged Marriage, Dominant Kylo Ren, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Smut, F/M, Happy Ending, Kylo Ren Redemption, Kylo Ren is a crybaby, Pre-TFA and Post-TFA, Protective Kylo Ren, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Too many original characters (but they usually don’t stick around for long), Unplanned Pregnancy, mc dreams of being a pilot, mc is force sensitive, mc is kind of a baddie tho, plot heavy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:02:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 33,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24653542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melokiid/pseuds/melokiid
Summary: Two twin planets on the outer rim of the galaxy revolve around each other, Calda and U'Dar. The inhabitants of the two planets live in harmony, working together and sharing members of their kingdoms to keep their worlds together.But, the Princess of U'Dar hates this. She despises the way her world works and how the inhabitants of Calda look down their noses at her people. The folk of U'Dar know this but due to their fear of losing any semblance of power they deal and suffer with Calda.But the princess has other plans for her own world.Plans that will change her world for the better, at least she hopes so.
Relationships: Ben Solo | Kylo Ren/Reader, Ben Solo | Kylo Ren/You, Kylo Ren/Reader, Kylo Ren/You
Comments: 2
Kudos: 21





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> u'darian translations:  
> bey wisha — best wishes, good luck  
> ve’ey tal ... vey serip — you're welcome... you idiot.  
> fadra / madra — father / mother

_"Ya'Mora! Where is the princess?!" A shriek was heard from all around the palace._

"Woo! That's what I'm talking about!" I cry out, pushing forward on the accelerators of my ship. It flies forward and up into the sky, the smile on my face grows bigger as I go faster and _faster._

As I get higher, the systems on the X-Wing begin beeping. I'm too high for this old thing. I pull the ship up and around to start my descent. The planet has been beautiful for the last few moon cycles. _Madra Natur_ must be happy with us. I carefully land the ship in a clearing where I cover it up. No one can know I fly.   
  


I am a princess, after all, and my duty is to sit there and look pretty. Maybe mother a few sons and daughters and move on with my life.

_But that is not what I want._ I want to be free from all my duties, to fly and marry someone I love. Not someone my _Fadra_ chooses. I hope that I will have an escape one day. For now I will just stick with flying this old X-Wing and pretending my duties don't matter. 

Pushing through the thick forest, I navigate my way back home using the path I've carved out over the years of me traveling this way. It's hidden enough to the point where no one can find it, of course it is able to be found. If you're brave enough to exit the safety of the city of Yonur. My home. _Sort of_. Sometimes it didn’t feel like home.

The city skyline makes itself known as I finally exit the lush trees. I sneak my way in through the open sewer pipe and up through the manhole in an empty alleyway of the city. I pull my hood up to cover my face and wrap my cloak around me. Being noticed right now is something I definitely didn't need. Sneaking through the various alleyways was a piece of cake, as usual, and before I knew it I was back at the palace. 

Normally I came in through the kitchen since it was right in the back of the castle and the door was kept wide open. I see someone leaning against the wall, probably half asleep. "Teygi!" I shout and smile as he stumbles while trying to stand up straight.

"Princess! I was waiting for your safe return." I approach him and I pull down my hood. "The king has been looking for you all day so you better hurry on in." 

I roll my eyes, "Thank you for the warning Teygi." I maneuver my way through the busy kitchen and grab a roll of bread on my way out. "Bey wisha!" I wave to him and he shoots me a smile before going back to his work. 

As quickly as I can, I rush up the back stairs and into the next floor so I can get into my room before anyone notices. But someone is already standing out there. Ya'Mora, my personal guard, was leaning against my door with crossed arms and an angry glare. "Ya'Mora?" I question as I approach him. 

"Get in there!" He pulls my doors open and drags me inside, shutting the heavy doors behind him. "Change, and then go see your father. I've been stalling for the last few hours saying you have been sick." 

I frown, "I'm sorry Ya'Mora." 

" _Ve'ey tal... vey serip_." He scoffs with a roll of his eyes. "Hurry." He then leaves me alone in my room, dumbfounded. What a warm welcome that was!   
  


I change out of my dirty clothes, thanks nature, and into a more fitting outfit for a princess. A dress, no shoes, my circlet... the works. I dab on a hint of perfume and then make my way back out. "Let's go." Ya'Mora sighs and walks ahead of me. 

Ya'Mora is my closest friend here, although he'd never admit it. I've only really got him since my father and mother are too busy and my brother lives on Calda now with his wife. This 'talk' with my father was probably going to just be about me picking a suitor from Calda. Their current king and queen have four sons. I couldn't imagine having four brothers. 

But, thanks to the unfairness that is the Caldan government, U'Dar royalty can only have up to three children. So my father and mother stuck with just two. "King Rolti, Queen Amigal." Ya'Mora says with a bow, "The princess is feeling much better now." 

"Good." My father nods and I swallow any fear that starts to boil up. "My child, how are you?"

"Ah, I'm better... _fadra_ thank you. What is this about?" I smile and clasp my hands behind my back so they can't see me wringing them together constantly.

"We are expecting company soon, from the First Order." He hums, gazing over to my _madra_. She smiles but looks nervous about it.

The people of U'Dar were not shy when it came to allies. We needed more of those, if anything, because Calda just wasn't enough. In the past we have allied with the Empire but that may have just been fairy tales my _grandmadra_ told me to get me to shut up. "We will be entertaining them for a few days as we settle our alliance and agreement." 

"What do they want from us?" I ask. 

"Our mines for trualpian ore." Fadra states, "I assume it's important to them." 

"Trualpian? Isn't that what we make our jewelry out of... I thought it was pretty much useless?" I raise a brow, "But, okay, I'll try and be on my best behavior."

" _No._ You will be on your best behavior, my child. Because we will be entertaining not only General Hux, who is in charge of all their troops, but also Commander Ren." He states, looking down at me. 

I raise an eyebrow, "Who?" 

Ya'Mora chuckles behind me, "May I, my king?" 

"Go ahead." Fadra clenches his fist as madra reaches over to soothe him. Ya'Mora steps in front of me.

"Princess, Commander Ren is in charge of everything that the First Order does. You'll see to it that you won't be tardy and will be on your best behavior. First impressions do matter." He pats my shoulder and I look up at him.   
  


I don't say anything but I know my face is telling him how I feel about this. "Okay..." finally I speak up. "Fine."

"Thank you, child." Fadra smiles, "you are dismissed. Maybe get some more rest so you can feel better for tomorrow." 

I bow my head and turn to leave but my madra calls out to me. "And please do be sure to make a good impression. We wouldn't want them to be... disappointed with you." 

My fists clench together and I leave the room. "Princess!" Ya'Mora calls after me, I hear his heavy footsteps run behind me. "Prin— agh, hey!”

I stop and turn around, "What?" My voice cracks, "She always disrespects me, I'm used to it by now." 

"No, you aren't." He sighs and pats my head, "Walk with me."  
  


Ya'Mora leads me back upstairs and he begins talking as we stop outside my room. "Princess, I know how you get when your madra speaks to you like that. It's difficult, especially when you don't even want to be a princess."

My eyes dart to the ground, "That isn't true." 

"But it is. I know where you go all day, you go fly that abandoned X-Wing in hopes it'll magically take you away from this planet." He sighs, "Listen to me." I look back up at him. "... The First Order may be your way out. They will be recruiting people during their stay." 

"Ya'Mora! If you help me escape you'll be executed!" I shake my head, grabbing onto his hands. "It isn't worth it. I don't want to see you die, I'm fine being princess as long as you're there to help me."

"I have a plan." Ya'Mora states and opens my doors, he ushers me in and shuts the doors behind him. "Well I have two plans. One, you try out to be a pilot and succeed. I will join you as a member of their military."

"What's the second plan?" I ask. 

He shakes his head, "I don't think you'll like it very much Princess." 

"Oh! Just spit it out!"

"We convince the Commander and the General that to have a stable alliance we must wed you to the Commander." Ya'Mora clenches his jaw, "I don't think it would work but at the same time I do."

I laugh, "You're serious?" 

"As I can ever be." 

My smile fades, "Oh. Wow. You really are..." 

"Princess, your parents would wholeheartedly agree to that plan. They wouldn't disown you and I know they would encourage the wedding." 

I sit down on the edge of my bed. "They wouldn't."   
  


"I know them as well as you. They would."  
  


_A marriage to the Commander of the First Order? Is that what my only option truly is?_


	2. Chapter 2

A strange feeling settled in my heart as one maid tends to my hair and the other ties up the corset's strings. "Ah, milady!" A robotic voice calls out. Covered in dark chrome armor my etiquette droid enters the room.

"C-2IO." I turn and the maids fuss as they have to turn to focus on my back. "How are you?"

"Well. The question is, how are you? The king has sent me to—" he stops his rambling. "Pardon me, but the First Order will be arriving tonight. Are you ready?"

"I guess so. Let's go, Ceetoo." I smile and the maids step back.

"You look lovely, Princess." "Much like a doll!" They coo and pat my back.

"Thank you ladies, you are dismissed." They hurry out and I am left with C-2IO. "Well, shall we?" I ask and he stumbles around.

I take his arm and we walk down the halls. Chirping and beeping calls out from behind us and Ceetoo huffs. "Oh enough you blasted droid!" We stop and turn, "B9-2, your presence isn't needed at the moment so go worm yourself into another hole until Princess Rix pulls you out of it." He points a finger at the BB unit and its head tilts down.

"Stop, Ceetoo. Bee just wants to hang out with us, and I'll allow it. He is my favorite droid after all."

Bee lifts his head back up and chitters happily, rolling over to us and sticks close to me. C-2IO huffs and puffs as he continues escorting me to the main hall. I found much more solace in my droid companions instead of the people that surrounded me, except for Ya'Mora of course. Besides, C-2IO and B9-2 were programmed to assist me in everyday life. Ceetoo taught me what I know in etiquette and translates for me and Bee always sticks up for me, even if he is just a small BB droid. 

"King Rolti!" Ceetoo announces our presence. "We have arrived."

He bows and Bee also nods its head. I gaze over to my Fadra and Madra is once again clinging to him. "Hello, Fadra." I nod, "Is everything ready?"

"Almost. We will be greeting them outside in the front gardens and the guards will escort us back inside to the dining hall." He explains. "After dinner, the local dance troupe will be preforming for us while we enjoy the rest of the evening."

I raise a brow, "What about all the serious stuff... you know, discussing a treaty and what not?"

"After such a long trip, they deserve some rest before hard work. Wouldn't you agree?" He looks over to Madra who nods and smiles.

I sigh and Bee bumps into my leg, looking up at me. It probably doesn't want me to start going off on my parents. "Understood."

"Perfect. See to it that our performers for tonight are satisfied with their temporary lodging and we will meet you outside once the sun begins to set." Fadra says.

"Is that when they will be arriving?"

"Yes. Now go along." He shoos me off and I glare at him before turning around and leaving the main hall.

"Who does he think he is? Shooing me away like that?" I scoff and Bee whistles. "He may be my Fadra but he has no right to speak to me like that."

C-2IO interrupts me mid-rant. "I apologize for interrupting, Princess, but we were told to check on the performers. Once we do that I'm sure you'll have the rest of the day to prepare and relax."

"Hmm." I mutter and walk off ahead of them to the hall where visitors usually stay. But I doubt we'll be housing the Commander and General here at all. It's too run down and Fadra wouldn't _dare_ disrespect them like that. Ceetoo is whispering something to Bee behind me but I was too lost in my thoughts.

That conversation with Ya'Mora yesterday has been throwing me in a loop. I wasn't able to sleep well last night and I can't stop thinking about it right now. But I need to focus. "Here we are." I stop walking and knock on the large wooden door, Ceetoo opens it for me and I walk into the lively common area. It split off into four other rooms where the dancers and musicians were staying.

"Ahem!" Ceetoo clears his imaginary throat and everyone stops, "The Princess has arrived..." he gestured to me and the people bow.

"No need to bow, I'm just here to check on everyone." I dismiss them and they all stand up straight.

"We're doing well, thank you for your concern princess." A man steps up and I assume he is the ringleader of this group. "Our dancers are well rested and the musicians are eager to play tonight!" He smiles.

"Thank you..." I pause and wait for him to tell me his name.

"My apologies. I am Ori." He rubs the back of his neck.

"Thank you Ori." I smile. "I will send in someone to bring everyone food and drinks soon." Everyone begins talking, they must be hungry and I feel bad for making them wait. "It'll be a little bit before they arrive though."

"Not a problem, milady! We are a patient group." Ori says proudly, "Thank you for checking on us."

"No problem. _Ik wisha vey bey lok_.” I nod and then quickly dismiss myself. C-2IO and B9-2 follow me out and they talk as I wander down the hall.

“Ceetoo, Bee, you two are dismissed. I’d like to be alone for a while.” I stop and smile at them. Bee chitters and Ceetoo tries to come up with a reason why they should stick around.

“Princess, it’s an important day, I just can’t—“

“Hush. I’m sure Ya’Mora will find me eventually. I’ll meet you two tonight, okay?” I poke at C-2IO’s chest and then I crouch down to pat B9-2 on the head. “Make sure he doesn’t start any fights while I’m gone, Bee.”

Bee chirps and beeps while Ceetoo denies everything I’ve just said. “Enough.” I roll my eyes playfully, “See you two later.” I wave them off and walk away from my dear friends.

After a few moments of walking, I find myself in the back gardens lost in thought once again. My mind wanders off to the thought of the Commander. I wonder if Ya’Mora really meant all that or if he was just teasing me? Sometimes he does that and I won’t even notice because the man is so damn serious most of the time.

But marriage? I don’t think... well... my Fadra wouldn’t hesitate giving me away to the Commander of the First Order if it meant U’Dar would be secure and safe for many, _many_ years. I sit on a nearby bench, looking over at the white and pink florasils wave at me in the wind.

“Princess.” A voice pulls me away from my thoughts once again. I turn my head and see Ya’Mora dressed up in a more... elegant form of armor. Fadra is probably making him wear that for tonight, seeing as he is my personal guard and whatnot. “Sorry.” He says and walks over to me. His armor clinks as he sits next to me.

“You’re alright.” I shrug. “I was just thinking about what you said to me last night.”

He hums, “Don’t worry about such things, Princess. I was just talking.”

I shake my head, “No. What you were saying made sense. Do you think—“

“I don’t think what I said was appropriate, especially since I am your guard.” A faint smile appears on his face, “Why would _I_ ever suggest something as wild as that? Especially to the person I am supposed to be protecting.”

“Ya’Mora you didn’t offend me and you had a point to what you were saying to me.” I nudge his shoulder with my hand, “Listen to me, old man. I know you only said that because you can’t stand to see me hate every second of every day.”

“Hey! I’m not old.” He scoffs.

I giggle, “You’re old compared to me.”

“Princess, everyone is old compared to you. Besides the maids and butlers, you’re probably the youngest here.” Ya’Mora says, “How old are you now? Five?”

“That’s not very nice. You know I’ll be twenty five in a few months.” I say, “and you’ll be... a hundred and six?”

“That’s enough out of you, kid.” He grins, “I’ll be forty nine. You know most guards here retire at thirty?”

“Yeah, but that’s because their job isn’t as important as yours.” I stand up and brush my skirt out. “You’re guarding me.”

“Nope. It’s because I love my job.” He stands and walks off. “I’ll see you tonight Princess.”

I wave, “See you.”

_Maybe_ Ya’Mora really did mean what he said last night and he’s just trying to play it off. He is sort of like another fadra to me. No, not another fadra, he’s always treated me like his daughter. Especially when mine would do nothing to help me out and don’t even get me started on my madra.

“Hmm.” I sigh and pick a florasil off of the bush and twirl it between my fingers. A sharp pain travels through my head suddenly, I wince and drop the flower, gripping at the sides of my head. “Ow. Ow. Ow.” I hiss and tug at my hair. What was this sensation? I’ve never felt it before.

I hear a loud buzz over my headache and I look up at ominous black ships entering through the atmosphere. And once more, that strange feeling settles in my heart as my headache dissipates.

The First Order is here. _Earlier than expected as well_. It’s now or never. Oh Maker, I don’t think I’m going to survive the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmmmmm, the Princess is feeling strange as the first order arrives??? hmmmmMmmMm ;;) what could this mean? well, it definitely means kylo’s a-comin!
> 
> u'darian translations:  
> ik wisha vey bey lok / i wish you the best luck


	3. Chapter 3

I watch the black ships land on the other side of the castle, I feel frozen in place as my mind slowly comes back to normal. My headache was suddenly gone but my chest still felt tight.

"Ah, _shiien_." I curse before lifting up my skirts and running back inside, I clamber up the stairs and rush into my bedroom. I swing open my closet door and change out of the dress I'm currently wearing into a more formal one. The black skirts swish around me as I rush around to fix and pin my hair into place.

" _Dram ey_ , where is it?" I dig through the bottom of my closet for a pair of shoes and finally find the right ones. I step into them and I practically throw myself out of my room once I was done.

C-2IO and B9-2 slam into me in my haste. "Ow! Sorry, guys!" I groan and brush off the front of my dress.

"Princess, please watch where you're going!" Ceetoo yelps and Bee chirps. "The First Order has—"

"Yeah, they arrived. I know." I shake my head, "That's why I'm in such a hurry."

Footsteps stomp behind me and I turn to face Ya'Mora who looks at me. He seems a bit off and sort of nervous. "Princess. Your presence is requested in the grand foyer."

"I was about to go there." I say. "But now I have an entourage to accompany me." I gesture back to my droids.

"I don't think they will be necessary."

"Then we'll go back to our jobs!" Ceetoo chuckles nervously as Bee complains in its usual manner.

Ya'Mora nods, "Off you go." Then he looks back at me, "Come along Princess."

He holds his arm out and I grab onto it. "Are you alright?"

"Yes? Maybe? I don't know?" I groan, "I'm nervous."

"Nothing to be nervous about. Treat the First Order like Calda and you'll be alright." Ya'Mora reassures me and I nod.

"Yeah, like Calda... okay." I mutter to myself as he leads me to the grand foyer.

Once we enter the room, I feel my heart drop to my stomach as the Commander, General and a small order of Stormtroopers are standing here as if they're going to take over U'Dar. _No, no they aren't going to take over my home_. I snap out of it as Ya'Mora leads me to stand next to my madra, he lets go to stand behind me. "There you are, you were almost late." She hisses and grabs my arm tightly.

"Looks like we're all here." The red-haired general speaks up.

"Ah, good." Fadra smiles, "General Hux, Commander Ren, this is my daughter."

The general's eyes land on me, as does the Commander. Hux looks at me as if I'm some sort of weasel and I can't tell what the Commander is thinking. Not with that helmet covering his face. I wonder if he's horribly disfigured from battle under there? "Hello. It is a pleasure to meet you." I bow my head to look away from them.

"Perfect. Now... shall we?" Fadra gestures to the left, the doors to the dining hall swing open and he leads the two into the room.

"Be careful. And be on your best behavior, child." Madra says to me quietly. I swallow my words and nod. We walk a few paces behind the Commander and General. I can hear Ya'Mora's armor clink behind me.

Fadra has already taken his place at one end of the table, a few other aristocrats and peacemakers are also already there. I can't remember any of their names, though. Commander Ren sits on the opposite end with Hux to his right.

I pause and Ya'Mora almost bumps into me. "What is the matter Princess?" He asks me quietly.

"That man took my seat." I grumble and glare at the peacemaker who is sitting to the left of my fadra.

"You'll be fine. Sit next to the commander." Ya'Mora sighs, "I'll be close." He pushes me gently and my feet start moving again.

A butler pulls the remaining seat out so I can sit and he tucks me back close to the table. "Well, Commander Ren, I won't assume you would be eating with that helmet?" Fadra asks and everyone falls silent.

I look at him, stunned. Did he really just say that? Sometimes I forget my own fadra can be psychotic. My gaze switches over to the Commander, he tilts his head down and raises his hand. _Oh maker._ I just know he's going to be horribly—

_Hissss_. His helmet pops open and he pulls it off, revealing the unexpected.

My breath hitches and he notices as he looks over at me with cold brown eyes. I blink and I can feel my cheeks grow warm. My inner thoughts buzz around, _Uh, Ya'Mora? I think I'll take up that marriage proposal idea now_! I look away from him and back at my Fadra who is smiling. "Let dinner be served!" He claps and the servers come twirling in with hot plates and good food.

Commander Ren sits there, unimpressed with the food in front of him. My fadra is busy impressing the First Order peacemakers near him. "Um..." I begin, "I know it doesn't look great but this meal is a delicacy to us here on U'Dar." I look at the Commander and he lifts up his fork, poking at the food.

"What is it?" Hux sneers as he does the same.

"It- Well it's called Sal Yerya, it's sautéed Yerya which is a buffalo like animal here. It's very good." I dig into my food, but the two don't seem so convinced.

Jeez, you think they'd be a bit nicer to their host planet? I pay them no mind as I eat but through the corner of my eye I begin to see Commander Ren eat. General Hux doesn't even bother to touch his meal. _Well fine then, you can starve if you won't even try it_. I sigh quietly and I hear Commander Ren hold back a cough. Or was it a chuckle?

I look over to him, yet his eyes are locked onto my fadra. "You stare a lot." Ren states, "I thought princesses were supposed to keep to themselves?"

I grit my teeth, "No." I grumble. " _Ik rey ma't drik ve’ey serip_.”

“What?” He hisses back at me, so far no one has noticed our little dispute. “What did you say?”

“Hmm. _Cha ik serip._ ” I narrow my eyes at him. _Nevermind, Ya’Mora. I don’t want to marry this brat_. “ _Brut no tre agha, rei_?” 

“Princess!” I hear my name being shouted from the other end, “Don’t speak like that to our friends.”

I set down my fork and knife. “Sorry, fadra.” I shake my head yet I can still feel all eyes on me and Commander Ren’s eyes are burning me.

Dinner soon passed by without another hitch. I sat there silently as everyone else spoke with each other like old friends. Even Hux seemed to be a bit more lively after he had a few drinks. I guess Trukan wine will do that to you. Good thing he doesn’t really know what that wine is made out of. “Princess.” I hear Ya’Mora call out and his hand lands on my shoulder. “Come, let’s walk while we wait for the festivities.”

“Perfect.” I stand up and ignore the Commander’s eyes.

“What was that show about? You know better than to speak U’Darian around these people.” Ya’Mora begins scolding me the instant we exit the dining room. “They could think you’re threatening them!”

“The only threat I made was calling the Commander an idiot.” I roll my eyes and lean against the cool stone wall. “And he didn’t understand me, so?”

“So? So! That’s the point? If he had a translator then...” Ya’Mora stops, “Just watch your tongue.”

The door to the hall squeaks open and we both look over at it quickly. It’s my fadra and the Commander. He looks rather bored as he talks to the king. “Perhaps we should leave them.” I say and walk off.

“Wait, Princess! You just can’t leave the party now.” Ya’Mora shouts.

“Yes, I can.” I throw my hand into the air, “I need a few moments alone and I’ll be back. Keep my seat warm and glass filled, yes?” I smile at him.

He stops chasing after me and huffs. “Fine. But I’m not making up any excuses for you.”

“Ha, funny. I never asked you to!” I wave and walk off to the inner garden.

Finally I find the perfect spot to get some peace and quiet. Underneath the old tree on the stone bench that had words carved on it, I don’t know what it said though. It was written in an ancient language before U’Darian. I let out a long sigh and shut my eyes, tilting my head up to feel the moons glow on me.

I wish I could be closer to the moons, preferably in a ship flying towards them to get a good look at it. My eyes open and I stare at the larger, yellow moon. I wish I could live on the moon and be away from all this royal pettiness, from all the stress that being a princess gives me.

“Princess.” A rough and tired voice fills my ears. _That wasn’t Ya’Mora_. I look around and see a familiar figure.

“Commander Ren? You should be inside enjoying my fadra’s party.” I hum, looking away from him.

“What did you say to me earlier?” I hear him walk closer to me.

“It was nothing.”

I can feel him seething. “It didn’t feel like nothing.”

I quickly stand up and spin to face him. Oh, stars, he’s taller when he stands. “I- well if you really want to know, all I did was call you an idiot.”

His eye twitches and I the anger radiating off of him grows hotter. “You shouldn’t say things like that to me, _princess_.”

“Ah, I shouldn’t? Why not?” A grin grows on my face.

“Your father would be horrified if he heard you calling your husband an idiot.” Kylo Ren states.

He— what? Did I hear that right. “I don’t think I heard you properly. What did you say?”

“You heard me.” He refuses to repeat himself and we stand here staring at each other. I’m sure I look dumbfounded and now I’m the idiot.

_He said husband, right?_

_Yes_ , _you heard me right_. A second voice fills my head and I yelp. That sounds like... I blink and Commander Ren’s lip curl up a bit.

“Hey! Get out of my head! And you won’t be my husband, I’m sure of it!” I shout and push past him, knocking his arm with my shoulder.

He lets me storm off, however I feel like this conversation will be continued very soon. But first, I need to confront my _dear_ fadra.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully you/princess doesn’t seem too much like a brat? I might need to tone it down a bit! But like I said...you’re gonna be a stink-head until you can warm up to Mr. Kylo Ren
> 
> u'darian translations:  
> shiien / shit  
> dram ey / damn it  
> ik rey ma’t drik ve’ey serip / Now I know you’re stupid  
> cha ik serip no tre agha / well I called you an idiot.  
> brut no tre agha, rei? / but you can’t understand me, right?


	4. Chapter 4

The doors to the dining room slam open as I interrupt a group of performers dancing. The room falls silent and all eyes are on me, I breathe in and out deeply while I'm stomping up to my fadra. "A word?" I lean down to him, his face has gone red with embassment, or anger, and he gets up.

"What is the matter with you?" He scolds me and pulls me away from everyone. We exit through the kitchen and somehow make it back to the inner gardens. "You've been acting like a baby all night! First you scold the Commander, in a language he can't even understand, and then you come storming in here as if you own the world!"

"When were you going to tell me that you offered my hand to Kylo Ren?!" I shout and he steps back. "Without my permission?"

"Child, you are twenty five. It's about time you get married." He hisses, "Your brother got married at twenty two! I've been letting you put it off because I know how you are but... enough is enough."

My face contorts with rage as I lift up my arm, my hand balls into a tight fist and my fadra freezes. He grabs his throat and his face turns a sickly shade of purple. The rage burns through my veins as he tries to cough some words out, _"Y- Y/N!"_ He sputters.

I blink and all my feelings disappear once I notice what's happening to him, I drop my arm and he falls to the ground, drinking in the air. "Fadra?" I whisper, kneeling next to him. "What happened?"

"G-get away from me!" He shrieks and I crawl back.

"Why? What happened? I'm trying to help you!" I cry out, my eyes get heavy with tears. I feel my world crumbling around me while I watch my fadra stumble to get up and he rushes out of the gardens, leaving me alone.

**_Alone. Like usual, huh_**? Kylo Ren's voice fills my head once again and I start sobbing.

"Get out..." I sniffle and cover my face with my dirty hands. Hands that I used to almost kill my fadra. What was that sensation? I have never felt so angry in my whole life.

"It's the Force." His synthesized voice echos around me, I peel my hands away from my eyes and try to focus up at Commander Ren. His helmet and cloak are back on and he looks thirty times more menacing in the moonlight. "Come with me." He stretches his hand out and I pull myself backwards.

"Wh— why should I?" I whisper.

"I can teach you how to control it." He states, then he crouches down to be at my level. "I can teach you everything, as your husband."

My head shakes, "I don't want to get married. I want to marry for love."

"You'll fall in love at some point."

"No, no, _no_ I won't." I whimper.

"I can give you time." He reaches out to me, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. "What do you think?"

I stare at him, stunned, "huh?"

"Come with me and I can give you the galaxy and teach you how to harness your powers." I can tell his voice is trembling, even behind the mask. "How to control your anger, your happiness, and in turn we wed."

"I can't marry you right away." I look down at the soft grass, playing with it. "There's no way."

"I'll give you six months." He states. "And after those six months you can come home or I can bring you somewhere else."

"That's not a lot of time!" I complain but, I can kinda tell he's glaring at me. "Uhm. Sorry. That's a good amount of time."

His hand drifts to my cheek, running his leather-clad fingers across my skin. "Do you agree?"

I _almost_ shudder. "I guess, I mean I don't have any other choice? Right?"

"No. It seems you don't." Kylo Ren stands up and holds his hand out once again. I take it this time and the cold leather feels comfortable, almost as if I could get used to this. "Come." He walks ahead of me, still holding onto me tightly.

"Wait! What about my droids? My guard Ya'Mora?" I halt and he does as well.

Commander Ren sighs. "You will not need them aboard the Star Destroyer."

"They're my friends!" I furrow my brows, "I can't just leave them."

" _You will not need them_. Do I make myself clear?" He turns to look down at me and I hold my ground.

"Look, I don't care how creepy you look with the mask. I at least need my BB unit." I frown, "I can leave Ya'Mora and Ceetoo, but not Bee. _Please_."

He turns back and pulls me along with him. "Fine. You can bring one droid."

"Thank you." His grip on my hand tightens as he acknowledges my words.

We enter the dining room, which is lively once more, but my parents are no where to be found. "Princess!" Ya'Mora rushes over to me, checking me over. "Excuse me Commander."

Commander Ren lets go of me. "I will be right back."

"What happened?" Ya'Mora finally asks as the Commander goes over to General Hux.

"I hurt my fadra," I frown, "I was so angry with him offering my hand up to Commander Ren. I don't know how but I started choking him."

"And then you come stumbling in here holding the Commander's hand?"

"I agreed to the marriage, in six months time if I choose to." Ya'Mora places his hand on my shoulder. "What do you think?"

"I'm... nervous." He juts his thumb behind him to point at the commander. "He's unstable, I guess. You can't let him break you down, Princess."

"I know." I smile and pull Ya'Mora in for a hug. He sighs and hugs me closer. "I promise I'll be okay."

"That tone of voice means I can't go with you, hmm?" He asks as we separate. "You'll be okay, Rix."

"Will I? I can only bring B9-2." I purse my lips, "I—"

"Remember what I told you all the time when you were little? _Vey reo lo comme te Maker o vey siz._ " He pats my head, "always."

"Right." I nod, "Yeah. I can do this." I start hyping myself up.

"You can do this, kid." Ya'Mora grins and I smile with him.

"I can!" I start laughing and shake my head, "Oh maker, I'll stay in contact with you."

"As will I, I'll keep an eye on your parents for you."

"I doubt they'll even notice me being gone. Just take care of C2-IO, I know he'll go crazy without me and Bee."

He nods, "Trust me, I'm sure he'll stick with me for a long time."

"Princess." Commander Ren approaches us, "Come with me."

Ya'Mora nods his head and I wave, I know this isn't goodbye yet. He grabs onto my arm and leads me out of the dining room. The party has died down and many people have gone to bed. Even the performers are gone. "Ouch, you're holding me way too tightly, Commander." He loosens his grip. "We're leaving tomorrow afternoon."

"Ah- hold on, tomorrow?!" I glare at him, "You were supposed to be here for a week!"

"Plans have changed unexpectedly." He huffs as we walk through the long halls.

"Do you even know where you're going?" I scoff and he suddenly stops, making me slam into his back.

"Listen to me, _Princess_. I recommend that you watch your tone and your mouth."

"And if I don't?" I cross my arms, "What are you going to do about it."

He hesitates, "I'm not sure, but if you keep this up you'll be properly dealt with." I scoff and he pulls me along with him once more. "Where are your chambers?"

"Well it's upstairs, for starters."

"Watch it." He mutters then he drags me upstairs.

_You know, I'm kind of tired of getting dragged around by this man._

_**Learn to enjoy it, Princess.** _

I glare at his back once more, "Which door?"

"The last one on the left." I say and he stops in front of it. "What? Did you just want to escort me to my room?"

He opens the door, "Hey! This is a lady's room." I follow after him. The door slams shut with a wave of his hand. His helmet hisses and he pulls it off, slamming it onto my vanity.

"For a princess, you are very, very annoying."

"Learn to enjoy it, Commander." I bark his words back at him with a grin. His hands clench and unclench. "And why are you in here with me, anyways?"

"Making sure you don't escape. Your father told me many stories about how good you are at doing that." He states and sits down on the small plush couch by the windows.

"Oh come on, he thinks escaping is being out of his line of sight for more than five seconds." I sit down on the edge of my bed and kick off my heels, ahh freedom! Commander Ren watches me from across the room as I undo the braids from my hair and take off my jewelry.   
  


He’s too quiet and I wonder what he’s thinking about. It isn’t fair that he can get into my mind but I have no way to get into his. With a cloth, I wipe off the makeup that covered my eyes and lips. I look at the commander through my mirror, he’s watching the sky out the grand windows. “You can sleep, you know.” I step into my closet and pull the curtain shut to change out of this tight dress.   
  


"I don't need to." He answers and I walk out of my closet, tightly wrapping my robe around my body. "You can sleep, though."

"Not with you in my room." I crawl into my bed and watch him with uneasy eyes. "Do you really need to be in here?"

"I do."

"But I can't sleep with you staring at me all night, it's creepy." I bite my lip, " _Tra vey illnuso_."

"What?"

"It's a saying, you shouldn't watch a person at night." I shrug, "U'Darians believe watching someone sleep can curse you."

"I don't believe in silly stories." He grunts and stands up, pacing towards me.

Oh now he's disrespecting my culture? "Get used to me saying things like that commander, I am U'Darian after all."

"When you say it, it feels alright. But I can't stand your parents." He states, sitting near me on my bed.

_Oh, I didn't invite you to do that. But I don't mind you being so close._

"What do you mean?"

"They're annoyingly persistent."

I chuckle, "Yeah. That's the king and queen for you!"

The commander turns to look at me, his eyes feel a bit warmer than earlier. "Sleep." He places his hand on my cheek again and my face heats up at the sudden touch. "I will wake you in the morning."

He stands up and leaves my room, the door shuts behind him as I lean back in bed. The blush lingers on my face for a little while longer as I fall asleep into a dreamless state. But one thing is stuck to the back of my mind, why does my heart sink whenever he's around?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :O Your powers make themselves known! But you have no clue how to use them properly, lmao. Let’s hope Kylo can help
> 
> U’Darian translations:  
> Vey reo lo comme te Maker o vey siz / You always have the Maker on your side.  
> Tra vey illnuso / Don’t watch a person sleep


	5. Chapter 5

There was no point in even trying to sleep, my mind ran with various thoughts and ideas making it impossible for me to close my eyes. I push the blankets off me and get up to change my clothes, I pull on a pair of pants and a long sleeved shirt. I step out of my room quietly and look up and down the hall, it was empty.

_Thank the Maker._ I smile to myself and quickly pace down the hall and down stairs to get outside. Sneaking through the quiet kitchen, I emerge into the sleepy city alleyway. Then I take my usual path down the sewer and out the drain pipe to get back to my X-Wing. I'm really going to miss this thing. I wonder if Commander Ren would let me fly a TIE fighter, but now that I'm thinking about it, I doubt it.

I hop into the pilot's seat and turn it on, it rumbles to life and I shut the overhead door. Flying really took my mind off of things, it always did. Speeding through the night sky, almost close enough to touch the stars, my eyes fill with tears once again as I fly higher up.

_I need to stop crying so much, I've never done this before_. I guess I'm just emotional to be leaving everyone, I'll even miss my parents and I don't say that too often. The X-Wing begins to shudder and beep as I get too high. "Shiien," I huff and pull the ship lower down. "Alright, old thing." I pat the accelerator and land it in the clearing.

I look up at the old ship. "I'm gonna miss you the most, I think." I say, I know it can't understand me but... I poured so much time into this thing!

"Princess." I jump at the sudden voice, grabbing my chest. I spin around and I'm faced with Commander Ren.

"Ah, Commander!" I blush, "I was just—"

"Flying a Rebel ship." He steps close to me, glaring at me down his nose.

"Well, ex-rebel. It's mine." I cross my arms, "And I'm not a Rebel. It's just the only ship I have access to."

"Do you like flying?" He asks and I nod.

"I love it. I feel so free." I gesture up to the sky, the stars and the moons. "I feel so close to all the stars."

"You'll be even closer once we get onto the Star Destroyer." Commander Ren says.

I cringe at the name, "Closer to the stars on a ship that destroys them?"

"Mmm." He looks at the X-Wing. "I'm surprised this can still fly."

"Yeah, it's pre-Empire, so old. It can't go past the atmosphere so I've never really flown in space."

Ren shakes his head, "We'll change that."

I look away to hide my smile, "Really?"

He doesn't answer, and then I hear faint beeping and chirping in the distance. "Bee?" I call out and rush past the Commander. He follows behind me but I keep following the sounds of my droid. "Ceetoo?" I spot his shiny chrome glinting in the moonlight and Bee comes rolling up to me, practically slamming into my legs. " _Oof_."

I crouch down and pat his little head. "Pardon us, Princess! We heard the ship take off and B9-2 wanted to rush over here as usual."

"Ah it's just his instincts. Isn't that right?" I coo and he whirrs excitedly.

Commander Ren scoffs, "I've never seen such a close friendship with droids."

I look over my shoulder at him, "and? You should know that I get along with droids much more than any living thing." Bee chitters, "I mean fleshy, living thing."

Ceetoo stammers, "Oh, Commander Ren! Pardon me and my companion here, we just wanted to visit the Princess."

"You two can go now." He says and waves them off.

"Hey what the hell?" I get up and point at him, "You don't get to dismiss my droids!"

"I do now." He grabs my arm just like before and tugs me away from the two.

"I-I'll see you back at the castle!" I shout over my shoulder, watching Bee and Ceetoo look down in sadness. "What is your problem?" I hiss at the Commander.

"My problem is, is that you're focusing too much of your energy on menial things. Like flying an old ship or babying two robots who don't even need help." He quips back, "You should be more worried about what's going to happen once you leave."

"What do you mean? Are you threatening me?" I pull my arm away from him but that only makes him hold onto me tighter. "Ow! Let go!"

" _Listen to me_." He growls, getting too close to my face. "Once we leave U'Dar you are _my_ responsibility and I will be damned if you defy my orders. You will be taught a lesson if you keep resisting my authority."

Commander Ren watches me with dark eyes and I can't tell what he's thinking, it's almost as if he shut himself out of my mind. "Do you understand me?"

"I- I do." I nod and he lets me go, I stumble back and rub the sore spot. "I'm—"

"Save your apologies." He says, "and follow me."

I frown but walk behind him at a slight distance. I really didn't want to put myself on his bad side but... I just did. _Oh maker, aren't you supposed to be helping me out here?_ My eyes sting with tiredness as Commander Ren leads me back to the castle and I begin to wonder how he even found me way out here? I look over my shoulder and my two droids are no where to be found, I hope they'll be okay. But Bee has a good navigation system and Ceetoo can talk his way out of any problem.

Commander Ren stops at the entrance of the castle and the guards let us in. The sun is just about to rise, my stomach churns with anxiety and fear, and I can't even stop the impending doom from hurling towards me. I'd be leaving home for a long time and I wasn't even going to give everyone a proper goodbye. It hadn't even registered in my head until now as I stare down at the ground.

My fadra was scolding me for going out again, madra was whispering things to him as he yelled and yelled. My nails dig into the palms of my hands. _Stupid, good for nothing_ —

_**Hush**_.

Kylo's voice invades my head and I roll my eyes. _It's true._

_**I know, you'll be leaving them soon enough princess.** _

Huh, hearing him say that felt different. I ignore the butterflies and fadra finally finishes his rant. "You're lucky the Commander is kind enough to bring you along with him."

"Ah, please, I wouldn't be going if it wasn't for you." I snap at him, "I'm going to go pack and get B9-2, let me know when we're leaving." I storm pass them, but my madra calls out to me.

I stop in my tracks, refusing to turn around. "You're nothing but a selfish child." My teeth chew at the sides of my cheeks as I hold back all my rage. "You can't even say thank you to your father and the commander? What a shame. I thought I raised you better than that."

_Raised me? You raised me?_

A scoff leaves my mouth, "You raising me? Madra, you shouldn't spew such lies in front of Commander Ren." And with that, I leave the entrance and hurry up the stairs.

My face grows hot with anger as I throw various clothes into bags and my bedroom door slams open. "Princess." Ya'Mora.

"Yes?" I face him, "What is it?"

A bright smile grows on his face, "I'm going to miss you, but I don't think you'll have a hard time fitting in with the people on the Star Destroyer with that attitude."

"It's what they deserve. They may be my parents but they didn't raise me." I shrug and lift up my bags but Ya'Mora takes them from me.

"You're right." He nods and we leave my room one last time. I look back at it, I had spent so many nights here dreaming about the stars and leaving U'Dar... the fact that it was actually happening still felt like a dream. "Never forget where you came from, and don't forget about us."

"Ya'Mora, you make it sound like I'm going to be gone forever."

"Only Maker knows what's going to happen." He nudges my shoulder with his. "We should believe in Her some more, yes?"

"I guess." He sets my bags down next to me, I glance up at Commander Ren's shuttle. It was bigger than I expected, it could probably hold a good amount of people.

"Ready?" Commander Ren asks, he's brandished in his usual outfit with his helmet on.

"Where's Bee?" I ask and I can hear him beep, it's already on the shuttle. It rolls in and I smile softly. "And one last goodbye to you, Ya'Mora."

"It's more of a see you later. Right?" He smiles and his eyes get a little teary. I pull him in for a tight hug. " _Vey reo lo comme te Maker o vey siz. At mey ko._ " He murmurs to me and I nod, smiling and squeezing my eyes tightly to keep the tears from falling.

Ya'Mora pulls away from me and wipes away a stray tear. "You'll be fine!" He chuckles. "Now go."

A stormtrooper drags my bag into the shuttle and I wave goodbye to Ya'Mora one last time. "And tell Ceetoo I'll miss him!"

"I'll make sure he cries oil, Princess!" He grins and waves as I board the shuttle.

"Heartfelt goodbyes are always the hardest. Isn't it, Princess?" General Hux narrows his eyes at me. "Be glad we aren't destroying your little planet."

"Don't even mention something like that." I growl, "Watch yourself, General. I'm still a princess after all."

He stands up straight once more and walks off to the front of the shuttle. _Yeah, that'll teach you, you little shit._

_**Princess. Come here.** _His voice echoes out around me and I look over to the commander. He's standing in front of a closed door, "What?" I ask.

"It'll take us a bit before we reach the Star Destroyer. You can rest in here with me." Ren says as he enters the room. It wasn't large, but most of the room was filled with a huge bed.

"Uh," I hesitate entering. "I don't know about you, but this looks strange to me."

"Just get in here." He sighs and sets his helmet down on the side table.

Bee chirps from behind me and I turn around, "Bee!" It chatters excitedly, "I know, I know."

"Your droid can stay outside." The commander says.

"Does it really?" I ask with a raise of my brow. His expression doesn't change. "Ah, well. I'm sorry Bee, but once we arrive on the Star Destroyer you can be by my side."

It lets out a noise of rejection as it rolls off. I shut the door and place my hands on my hips. "Thanks for being such a jerk to my droid."

"It's just a robot."

"It's not _just_ a robot! Bee has feelings and—" a tight grip wraps around my throat, I claw at the imaginary hand and watch the commander hold his hand out in front of him.

"What did I say? The attitude, the back-talk, it all ends now." He drops his arm down and I fall down onto the ground, breathing in air.

"What the _fuck_ is wrong with you?!" I shriek and he crouches down to me on the ground. "You could've killed me? You were being so nice yesterday and- and now you're trying to kill me!"

"Sleep." He places his hand on my cheek and I jerk away from him.

"Don't touch me!"

"Just sleep goddammit." There's a sharp feeling at the back of my head and my vision turns black.

_Screw you, Kylo Ren_ were the last thoughts that filled my head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Goodbye U’Dar! I’m sure you will be coming back home at some point... right? For now you’re stuck with Commander Ren as your only ‘friend’.
> 
> Translations:  
> Vey reo lo comme te Maker o vey siz. At mey ko. / You always have the Maker on your side. And me too.


	6. Chapter 6

Maker was _absolutely, most definitely_ not on my side. After waking up from that force induced sleep, which wasn't nice in any way, to being jostled around by Commander Ren as he carried me off the shuttle. Then I argued with him again, being manhandled isn't something I like... and then he forces me to go back to sleep.

You can't make me go away by making me fall asleep! I grumble with crossed arms, he left me alone in this bare room on a small cot. I hope this is just temporary, the luxury of living like a Princess was slowly being replaced with this. Am I just doomed to be some punk's wife? _Why am I even thinking like this? I doubt we'll get married_.

A knock echoes through my room and the door slides open. Commander Ren enters, minus the helmet and cape this time, and he's holding a tray of questionable food. "What's this?" I ask, trying to get a look at the meal.

"Breakfast." He places it on the side table and I grab the bowl of... porridge?

"Doesn't look great." I sigh and scoop the gray 'food' up with a spoon.

Ren sighs, "Eat."

I continue to play with it before actually eating. "Oh! Gross!" I practically spit the food back into the bowl. "I can't eat this... there's no, uh, nutritional value?"

He takes the bowl from my hand and pulls up a chair from the table, sitting directly across from me. "If you don't eat, you'll be weak. I don't need to care for a weak wife."

"Oh wow, you're so kind Commander." I swoon, rolling my eyes. "Is there anything else?"

"No. Now eat up." He offers the spoon to me.

I turn away, "I think I'll wait for lunch."

" _Eat it_." Ren growls and my eyes snap back to him, "Or else."

I take the spoon from him and eat it, my stomach churns as I swallow the poorly flavored slop. "Now finish it." He hands the bowl back to me, "I'll be back soon and the bowl will be empty."

_Not like you're giving me much of an option._ But I nod anyways and keep eating. It's gross but he has a point, I do need to eat to keep up my strength. I don't want to depend on Kylo Ren to help me with every little thing. The bowl is empty at this point, save for another spoonful or two, I just can't finish the whole thing.

I decide to take a look around my room. Other than the cot and side table, there was a door that led into a small bathroom. Wow! I'm just really lucky to have given up _everything_ for this beauty of a shower stall. I chuckle at my own thoughts and wander back to the main room. If it can even be called a room, that is. _This isn't permanent, right? Yeah! Definitely not._ Maybe if I act nicer he'll give me a better room. One with a real room.

The door slides open without warning and Commander Ren is there, "Come with me."

"You know I haven't really had a chance to freshen up." I mention as we leave my room. "And is that really going to be my room?"

"For now, yes." He says and we turn sharply down another hall.

"Where are we going?" I ask.

" _Enough_ with the questions." He groans, "I have a meeting with the Supreme Leader and your presence is required."

"Okay, sorry." I frown, we stop in front of a strange looking door and guards clad in red let us in. The walls were covered in red and there was a strange looking creature sitting on the black throne in the center of the room

_Ew_. I grimace and look at Commander Ren, he swiftly gets down on one knee but I don't follow along.

"Kylo Ren, and the Princess of U’Dar, yes?" The creature smiles and- _oh Maker please stop smiling, you look horrifying._

"Uh, yes sir?" I nod. So this thing was the Supreme Leader? He didn't look very supreme to me, he looked like he was on his way out and ready to pass away.

Commander Ren starts talking about something but I'm too busy staring at this hunk of flesh perched on the throne. I wonder if I would ever become this nasty looking if I was queen of U'Dar. Well, my chances are slim, I don't think I'll live past thirty if I stick by the commander. "Wouldn't you agree, Princess?"

I shake my thoughts away, "Umm, yes. I would."

A scowl appears on the commander's face and the Supreme Leader looks amused. "So you _want_ Commander Ren to train you in the ways of the dark side?"

_Shiien, that's what they were talking about_? "Of course, he's very skilled right? Only the best of the best should teach me."

"He's a very tough teacher, you should see how his Knights are." He says.

I nod, "I believe it."

"Well then, it's settled, Ren you'll be training the princess on a schedule that works for both of you." He continues, "and make sure we get a proper lightsaber for her as well."

Commander Ren stands up straight and nods his head then he grabs my hand and pulls me out of the throne room. "You're crazy." He grumbles. "I'm not going to be easy on you."

"I'm not that much of a weakling."

_A lie, a total and blatant lie._

**_I figured._ **

"I wish you were nicer." I fake a sob, "I'd agree to this marriage much quicker."

"Hush." He pulls me into a control room, General Hux is already conducting a meaning.

"Ah, so you decide to show up... at the end of my meeting? You shouldn't have bothered, Commander." Hux glances down to our hands. "At least you are getting along with your bride-to-be."

Ren gives my hand a soft squeeze before he pulls away. "She gets lost easily."

I shake my head, "I do not!"

"Hm." General Hux hurts and goes back to his meeting. A few other leaders and generals are there listening intently. He goes on about the Resistance and how they're hunting down a scavenger and their new base.

_Boring_... I lean against the cool wall and Commander Ren looks at me.

_**You don't have to stay.** _

_I'll get lost, remember?_

His lips curl up ever so slightly and he nods. Not even a few minutes pass and the meeting is already over but the commander stays back to talk to Hux about something. "So you'll be playing babysitter because the Supreme Leader told you to?" Hux sounds mad, like more mad than usual.

I look away from the control panels and scanners, and... yup he is mad. His face is a bright red and Ren looks indifferent about the situation. "That's not what I'm doing. I'm training and I expect you to be a little more in charge while I'm occupied."

“ _Well_ , it's not like anything will change."

Commander Ren clenches his fist and Hux grabs at his neck. So he's doing what he did to me yesterday, huh? "You listen well, General, you will be in charge as I start training the princess. Once she's all done then I will come back as usual. Do you understand me?"

A gargled 'yes sir' escapes his throat and Ren slams him down onto the ground. He swallows in air and I stare at the two in shock. "Come." He takes my hand once again and pulls me out of the room.

"So you're taking a break to help me out? Look at you improving." I say with a smug grin.

He stops for a moment but then he turns swiftly and tugs me into a storage closet. "Ow! What the hell—"

"Be quiet for a minute." He shushes me and I roll my eyes.

_Why are we hiding? You're the Commander._

_**I just saw someone I don't particularly like.** _

_Ah, so literally anybody._

Commander Ren raises an eyebrow at me and I start to feel uncomfortable in this closet. Handles of brooms poke at my back and this feels like some cheesy U'Darian soap opera that would be playing on the holo-vision back home. Home. My eyes get watery again and I really need to stop crying at the thought of home, of everyone I left not too long ago.

He places his warm hand onto my cheek, his cold eyes grow a bit warmer as he looks at me. "Relax." Ren sighs, "I promise I can take you home to visit soon."

"Do you?" I ask, not feeling totally confident in the man who just did some crazy things to me a day ago.

"I _do_." He presses his forehead against mine and I can feel just about all my anxieties melt away. My eyes flutter shut and a smile appears on my face.

"So you are nice after all." I laugh softly and open my eyes, Commander Ren is watching me and he shakes his head.

"Let's go, they've left by now." And just like that, the moment was over.

_Good things must always come to an end._

"I'll take you to your new room." He says as we wander down the hall. "B9-2 is there waiting for you."

"Oh so he gets to hang out in a nicer room than me?" I tease and we stop in front of another door. It slides open and reveal a much nicer room with a plush bed and the bathroom appears to be much larger than the other.

"This'll do." I hum and Bee whirrs to life at the sound of my voice. "Thank you, commander."

He mutters, "Kylo."

"Huh?"

"You can call me Kylo. Commander is too... stuffy." He says.

I smile, "Okay. Thank you Kylo."

"Get some rest. You have a busy day tomorrow." He turns and leaves me alone with Bee.

"Well Bee, I think you'll have a lot of fun watching me get my ass handed to me tomorrow." I smile and Bee chitters in amusement.

_Hopefully good things will start happening soon. I pray that Kylo doesn't take out all his anger on me again_.

After my shower I dig through the closet for something to sleep in and I pull out a large shirt. This will have to do, I'll have to see if I can get some clothes I can actually wear. Maybe Kylo can help me out with that, I doubt he wants to see his potential wife to be dressed in baggy clothes forever.

Or maybe he does? I don't know what he likes. _Shiien_ now that I think about it, I know nothing about him and he knows tons about me. "Oh, what am I gonna do Bee? I can't get _married_! This is crazy."

It beeps questioningly, "Hey watch your language." I grumble. "I'll just have to learn some things about him but he doesn't seem like the 'opening up' kind of guy."

Bee whirrs, "I mean I guess? But I don't think he'd appreciate my wimpy attempts at prying through his head with the force. I can barely use it as it is." I pull on a pair of socks to keep my feet warm, the floor is extra cold in space. “I’ll figure it out. We’ve got this, right Bee?”

It beeps and I nod in agreement. “Exactly.”

_I mean I’m no stranger to love, this’ll be easy as pie._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eek soft kylo!!! Kind of. He’s really hard to write as a ‘soft’ character, especially when I sort of need him to be the classic emo/bad boy Kylo Ren y’know. But as things progress I imagine he’ll be a lot more soft with the princess :) 
> 
> I wonder what you mean about not being a stranger to love? ;)


	7. Chapter 7

Bee woke me up early and I didn't appreciate it, mainly due to the fact that I had no idea where food was served. I don't even think Kylo would let me go down to get food from the dining hall. "Well now what?" I glare at Bee and it whines, "I'm not mad, just annoyed because I have no idea where to get any food."

I think being hungry and angry were going to be a new constant in the mornings from now on. A knock at the door alerted Bee and it wheeled over to it, they slid open and it chirped and rolled back. "Kylo." I wave, "Hey! Hope you have breakfast?"

He gives me a confused look, "You didn't eat?"

"I— what? I don't know where to go on this big hunk of metal." I cross my arms.

"Come with me. Leave the droid." He steps out of the room and waits for me.

"Sorry Bee." I frown and it sighs. I leave the room and follow Kylo down the hallways. "This ship is like a maze."

"You get used to it. I won't bring you everywhere forever." He says and leads me into the dining hall, only a few people were still here. Breakfast must be ending soon, "Get something quick, your training will start soon. Find me in the gym when you're done." And then he leaves, cape fluttering behind him.

Oh damn it. I roll my eyes then grab a muffin and a juice from the counter. That's all they had left, I wonder why he got me that disgusting porridge instead of this. I peel off the muffin liner and dig in, eating as quick as I can so I can get down to the gym. I didn't know where it was but... this was probably a test, right? Maybe I had to use the force to find Kylo.

"Uh..." I whisper to myself. I sit down on the cold bench and shut my eyes, taking a deep breath as I do. Just ignore everyone and focus. Look for Kylo.

A buzz echos in the back of my head as I try to look for Kylo's energy. _Or force. I don't know_. I squeeze my eyes tighter as I give it my all to find him. Suddenly, it's clear as day. He's down a few hallways and in the large gym. I can see him or practicing with his lightsaber, then he suddenly stops.

" _Good job, princess._ " His voice resonates around my head and it's almost as if I'm in the room with him. We're so close yet so far.

Kylo disappears and my eyes snap open, I get up and rush down to the gym with a bright smile. I barge through the clear doors and he looks over at me. "You saw me?! Oh Maker, that's so friggin' cool!" I say with so much glee. _That was awesome. If that's what I can already do, I wonder what else I can learn!_

"That'll get easier, now let's begin." His saber turns off and he places it down on the benches away from us.

"When do I get one of those?" I gesture to his saber.

Kylo scoffs, "Not for a long time. Come on." He waves me over and suddenly pulls me, my back is flush against his chest and his arm around my neck. "Try to escape." He mutters.

I claw at his arm, "A warning would've been ni—" he cuts me off by squeezing his arm tighter around me. I kick and try everything, clawing, biting, and squirming. He's just too damn strong. My vision grows spotty and I can feel myself grow weaker. "Ple- please..." I wheeze.

He lets go and I drop to the ground, sucking in the air. "You didn't have to hold me that tightly."

"Tightly? If you think that's tight then other people will have you in a death grip." Kylo explains. "Again."

He tries to scoop me back into the same hold but I kick his chest and he flinches back. Kylo huffs and tries again, but I crawl back and keep kicking. "Stop. Kicking."

"Isn't this training? I'm kicking you away!" I shout and he finally grabs my leg. _Dammit_. "Let go!" I kick my other leg at his arm and he grabs that one too. I keep flailing and he flips me over, my forehead hits the wooden ground and I hiss in pain.

" _Focus_." He growls into my ear, pressing his weight against me. I can feel heat rising up my neck and settling on my cheeks, my stomach drops as I take in a deep breath.

"Get off of me." I grumble and flip over, he presses his arms against my shoulders to pin me down and I kick my knees against his stomach.

"That isn't going to work against anybody, princess." Kylo says and I sigh, giving up.

"I give up." I roll my eyes, "you win, tough guy."

He looks at me, eyes scanning my face and he's unreadable. I can't even tell what he's thinking about. "What? Is there something on my face?" I try to raise my hands up but he holds me down.

"No." He mutters and his eyes flick down to my lips. That blush from earlier reappears and I watch him.

"What are you thinking about?" I whisper, trying to get some sort of response out of him.

But he isn't answering me, and I don't like not knowing what he's going to do. Kylo presses his forehead against mine and his eyes shut.

_**You.** _

That word echoes in my head and I swallow any words that were about to leave. "What?"

"You." He brushes his nose against mine and I freeze.

_Whaaaaaa— this can't be real? Right. No this is a dream! I'm having a weird dream about Kylo Ren right now!_

_**Not a dream.** _

"I thought I could hold back, but when I first saw you..." he drifts off.

"Huh?"

His lips twitch, "I wanted you, I— I can't have these feelings but—" he stops and loosens his grip on my arms, I raise a hand up and place it against his cheek, running my thumb against his skin. "I don't know."

"You don't have to know." I smile and he pulls away from me ever so slightly. "See, the nice thing about dating is that you can take things slow."

"We're dating?" He asks so bluntly and I huff.

I shrug, "I mean, I guess? We're supposed to be getting married so most people date before they get married."

"We aren't like most people." He pushes himself off of me and sits back. I scramble to sit on my knees. "Don't look at me like that."

"Like what?" I shake my head.

"Like you want to kiss me."

I furrow my brows, " _Jeez_. You're so blunt, Kylo."

I sit closer to him, resting my hands on his thighs. "Am I your first girlfriend, or something?" I tease.

" _No_." He glares at me, "You aren't."

"Ah, that's too bad." I pout, "I really wanted to be."

"Am I—" he pauses, swallowing, "Am I your first?"

"You will be. If we ever get there." I grin and pause, he watches me with uncertain eyes. "My first... husband. I've dated before!"

"Oh." He mutters, breathing out the air he was holding.

"Sorry for being such a tease." I laugh softly.

He looks at me, brushing a stray hair behind my ear. His lips lift into a small smile and I do the same. _He is_ kind of _cute after all_.

_**Glad you think so.** _

I blush and his hands find their way to my face, brushing at the soft skin beneath them, he pulls me close. _So, so close_... Kylo pushes his lips against mine, kissing me with so much passion and force. I grab at his wrists and pull him closer, like I was going to lose him if I let go. My hands drift upwards and my fingers tangle in his hair, his meet my waist and he tugs at me, pulling me onto his lap.

" _Commander Ren_." A disgusted voice echoes in the gym and we pull apart, his lips are puffy and wet as he looks at the General.

_Fuck. You're kidding me! This guy has to interrupt? It was getting so good too!_

"General Hux!" I squeak out and he glares down at me. Kylo gets up and his lightsaber flies to his outstretched hand. I gasp and follow after him.

"You knew I'd be busy today. What's the problem?" Kylo growls at him and Hux rolls his eyes.

"It's the scavenger. We've located her."

_Scavenger? Her?_

I look at Hux and Kylo in confusion, he relaxes as the general leaves. "I have to go." He looks over his shoulder at me. He looks... angry. Definitely forgot about the last two minutes. "I didn't forget."

I bite my lip, "Okay."

"I'll see you later. We can have dinner together in your room." Kylo leaves the gym without another word and I frown.

I touch my lips with my fingers and sigh. _Well, this isn't fair_. I leave the gym a few seconds after him and I watch his fleeting figure disappear down another corridor.

I tear my gaze away from Kylo and head back to my room. A cold shower would do after all of this. Bee greets me as I enter my room. "Hey Bee." I smile and turn on the shower. It beeps and rolls into the bathroom. "I'll tell you after, okay?"

Bee whirrs and leaves, I slide the door shut behind it and peel off all my clothes. The cold water stings my skin and soothes my sore muscles. Various thoughts ran through my mind but everything ended at that kiss.

"That fucking kiss..." I hiss, scrubbing at my skin with a bar of soap. "Ugh." I huff and shut off the water, wrapping myself up with a thick towel.

Bee chirps as I dig through the closet for clean clothes. "No, I'm fine." I answer it and it beeps back at me.

"I'm not lying!" I pull on the clothes. "I swear. _Ik vey gu_." Bee bumps against my leg and I kneel down in front of it. “Listen, if you really want to know, all we did was kiss.”

Bee whirrs and spins in excitement. “Shh! It’s not that big of a deal. It didn’t even last that long. We were interrupted.”

I flop onto my bed and Bee pushes its head against my hand. “And yes, I’m upset about it.” I roll over and snuggle my face into the pillow, “ _urgghhhhh_.” I whine.

Bee chitters and hums, rolling across the room. It stops and I hear it power off for the afternoon, it probably needs to recharge. “ _This sucks_.” I flip over to my back and stare at the cold, dark ceiling.

I shut my eyes and let out a deep breath. “Focus...” I search for Kylo throughout the rooms of the ship. Some rooms I’ve never seen before appear as I scan through them all. But I’m blocked from one room. I can hear shouting from the other side, _Kylo_.

I try my hardest to get in there, but something— some _one_ is blocking me. _Come on, just let me in_. A sharp pain seizes my skull and I sit up, clenching at the sides of my head. Whatever’s happening in there, he didn’t want me listening. The pain throbs and tears well up in my eyes as it suddenly stops.

Bee chirps and I look over at it with teary eyes. “It’s nothing. Go back and rest.” It whirrs and powers off.

Just when I thought I was breaking through to him, he shuts me right back out. _Typical_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...now kith 👁👄👁...  
> Ahh! You two finally kissed! So exciting, I know. And more is to come, of course. But they’ve located the scavenger and... well, we have to wait and see how the princess feels about this.
> 
> translations:  
> Ik vey gu / I promise you


	8. Chapter 8

Being awakened by a slamming door is probably my _least_ favorite way of waking up. "Commander?" I rub my eyes. His helmet was on, and he stares down at me. Bee squeals and rolls around. "Bee." I glare over at the droid and it stops. 

"What was that? Trying to get into my head like that?" His voice is rough, more robotic as he barks at me. I watch him as he continues going off on me. "You could have ruined _everything_!" 

"I was just wondering what—" 

He stretches his arm out and I feel myself being pinned to the wall behind me. " _Never do that again_." He growls, getting close to my face. 

"You don't have to be such a piece of shit to me, _Commander_." I kick my legs out and hit him right in the stomach, he reels back and his fists tighten. But before he can do anything, I stop him, his hands are pinned to his sides as he struggles against my strength. "Weren't we getting along so well just a few hours ago? Funny how a scavenger can ruin great things." I stand up and press an accusing finger against his chest. 

I let go of him yet he doesn't move. We stand there watching each other, "You can leave now." I gesture to the door behind him. He reaches up and pulls off his helmet, tossing it onto the floor with a thud. His eyes were puffy and red as he gazes at me. But I wasn't backing down, "I don't appreciate you barging in here, screaming at me." I cross my arms. 

Yet he stands there, doing nothing. "What's so special about this scavenger, huh?" 

"She knows the way to the last Jedi remaining in this galaxy." He says, looking away from me. 

I scoff, "Really?" 

"Yes." 

He doesn't seem to be lying and I just don't want to deal with him anymore at this point. "Can you leave now?" 

"No, I won't. Not until— not until you forgive me." 

" _Forgive you_?" I practically screech and Bee whirrs behind me. "You were forgiven this morning after we..." I stop and the room falls silent, his breath hitches every so slightly. "You know." 

He nods, looking down at my lips once again. "Commander—" 

"It's Kylo."

I huff, "Kylo, you need to leave."He steps forward and I inch back, "Please." 

"No."

The door slides open without warning and Bee rolls out of here, chirping and beeping in annoyance. It shuts behind it and I look away from the door. "Please, Kylo. I'm really upset." 

He rests his forehead against mine. _Please, please just go_. 

**_You know I won't go._ **

_I know, you're so fucking stubborn._

"I am." He quips back at me, "and you are too." 

"Fine. What else could you possibly want?" I cross my arms, attempting to not look too angry at him. 

Kylo doesn't say anything and he steps forward again, I go back and the back of my legs hit the foot of my bed. "Kylo?" _Come on, you big bastard, I know you can speak_. 

"Didn't I tell you before? I just want you." He breathes out and I pinch my arms with my nails. " _Just you_." He leans down, nuzzling his face into the crook of my neck. "Not that scavenger, or anyone else. _You_ , princess." His lips brush against my neck softly and I squeeze my eyes shut. 

"You can call me Y/N, you know." I mutter, "Princess is too stuffy." 

A chuckle escapes his throat, "Is it?”

"Just a bit." I smile and he presses a kiss just below my ear. "What are you trying to do, Kylo?" 

His hands slide down to my hips and he pulls me close, "I think you know. You aren't that naive, are you?" 

I shrug and lean back a bit, his tears have dried yet he still looks nervous. "Huh? Are we just going to make out a bit, or something?" I feign ignorance, and Kylo glares at me. "Or... _ah_. You want to do that? After that argument? No thanks." 

Kylo shuts his eyes for a moment, then opens them, he's probably just trying to think of some way to yell at me again. He walks forward and pushes me back onto my bed, _ouch._

"So you're denying this feeling between us?" 

"Weren't you doing the same not that long ago? Because of the Supreme Leader, right?" I smile. 

"Until now." He states, "seeing you so angry, over a girl..." Kylo drifts off. 

"Did you like it?" 

"A bit." 

I chuckle, "Weirdo. You must like weird things." 

He shrugs and lifts himself off of me, I miss his warmth as it's replaced with the coldness of my room. Kylo sits next to me and I bite my lip, "Did you want to do something more?" 

"I did. But we shouldn't." Kylo shakes his head. 

I frown, "oh." 

_Don't beat yourself up about it. It's just because of the Supreme Leader, right? I hope._

"Relax." He sighs, "You get worked up about the little things. It's only been a week." 

A week? I've only been away from home for a week? 

"Get some rest, we'll continue training next week." 

"Why not tomorrow?" 

He pauses, glancing at me from the corner of his eye. "I have things to do." 

"Hmm," I nod, "Okay. What should I do?" 

"Learn the ship some more and stay out of my head." He gets up and leaves without another word or a goodbye. 

_A goodbye would've been nice, asshole._

**_Hmm. I'm starting to think of ways I can get your behavior back in check._ **

I clench the sheets as he responds to me. Ugh, why'd he have to say it like that? I frown and hate the sudden silence that fills my ears, where did Bee go anyways? It left right as Kylo was getting close— oh it probably thought we were going to do more. Sorry Bee, your master didn't get lucky tonight! 

Well, there wasn't really much to do and according to the clock on the wall, it's getting late. I guess I can just go back to bed. But where's the fun in that? The ship has to be dead silent and this is a perfect time to explore it. All I need to do is avoid Kylo and General Hux and that should be easy. I push myself off the bed and slide on some cozy slippers that had appeared one day. _And if I do get caught, I'll feel the wrath of Commander Ren. He'd probably murder me for wandering around in pajamas._

But... it is his fault that my pajamas are a pair of shorts and a big shirt. I still need to figure out to get proper clothes. I sneak out of my room and look down both ends of the hall, it's quiet and there's no human or droid roaming around. I go down one way and take a bunch of right turns, finding new rooms and places I've never been to. 

Maker, this ship was unnecessarily gigantic. My head perks up at a sudden scream. It was faint, yet sounded loud enough. Who is screaming and— my thoughts freeze. "That scavenger." I mutter and follow the loud screaming. They lead me down a darkened corridor and I stop. I could feel Commander Ren in one of these rooms. 

_Noooo, I should turn back before he notices! But I want to know who he's got in there with him._

Fuck it. I pull off my slippers and creep down the hallway, controlling my nervous breaths as I walk towards the screams. It stops and I can hear two people breathe heavily, one sounds more in pain though. He's probably putting her into some extreme force torture, something I'm familiar with. Unfortunately. I stop in front of a door with a small window, I peek over the edge and see a girl strapped to a chair. Kylo is there with his helmet on, his hands hover at the sides of her head as she turns away in pain. 

_Maybe, maybe I should go._ I bite my lip as she says something, they aren't talking loud enough for me to hear and I'm not going to get caught by trying to use the Force. I take a step back and skitter down the hallway, back to where I started. I press my back against the cool metal wall and clutch at my chest. I don't know what she did but... he clearly didn't like her. The pain and agony that flowed from that room was just too much. I can't handle all that. 

I shake my head and go back to my room, taking some time because I just needed to clear my thoughts. I wonder if I should help her? Or would there be no point in defying Commander Ren? He could end up doing the same thing to me if I did. Could he? I pause for a moment, looking over my shoulder, he could. If I don't agree to a wedding, I wonder if he'd just force me into submission, bending me to his will like everyone else on this ship. 

Wiping at a stray tear, I pick up the pace back to my room. But there was no use fighting these emotions. Kylo Ren could do _anything_ he wanted without repercussions, who's stopping him from doing that to me? 

"Princess." A voice, his voice, shatters my thoughts. I freeze, right in front of my door, of course. "What are you doing?" 

Just lie. "Taking a walk. I was hot and I needed some air." I turn around, smiling at Kylo. "Why? Is something wrong?" 

He approaches me, looking at me up and down. His helmet is off now but he's holding it tightly in front of him. "No. I thought..." 

"Hm?"

"Nothing. Get some rest. It's late." He dismisses me and goes off somewhere. 

I let out the breath I was holding and scramble into my room. That was too fucking close. Bee chirps and rolls right up to me. "Hey buddy." I nudge him gently. It beeps and goes over to it's charging station to rest for the night. 

_Dammit. I can't shake these thoughts. There's no way I'll be able to sleep tonight._ I try to shut my eyes as I pull up my blankets, but nothing helps. That girl's face is etched into my memory, her pain shot through my body as I think about her. What would he do? Would he get what he needed and then kill her?

However, this wasn't even the worst thought that was running through my brain. It was if he'd do the same to me?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly ,,, I really wanted to add smut in this chapter? But because I’m a sucker for angst, I wanted the princess to feel complicated about everything with Kylo. But soooooon there will be some smutty goodness I promise ❤️


	9. Chapter 9

It had been a few days since I left my room to go find out what Kylo was up to, and clearly I haven't been doing too good. I frown as Bee enters with a tray on his head. "Thanks Bee." I grab the tray from him and eat the unflavored porridge. It chitters and I shrug. "I don't know, I haven't really felt like doing anything." 

Even though I should _definitely_ go for a walk, I was just too afraid to stumble into Kylo. Bee chatters on about something, I think it just missed Ceetoo. "Yeah, so do I. And Ya'Mora." I pause for a second, "But not my parents." 

It beeps in agreement, "Exactly!" I smile as it cracks a few jokes about the king and queen. I start laughing and Bee rolls around excitedly. "Thank you, I really needed that." 

Sharp knocks at the door interrupts Bee's joke-filled rant and I stand up to answer it. "Sorry bud." I slide the door open and four stormtroopers are there staring me down with their blasters. "Uh, hi?" I raise my hands up slowly and General Hux pushes through the soldiers. 

"Princess." He scowls at me, "Commander Ren needs you to join us in our meeting for today." 

"I wasn't told about this." I shrug, "I don't want to go, besides, I'm not even dressed properly." 

"Hm. Very well then." He nods at the troopers and two of them grab me by the arms. Bee yelps behind me as they drag me out of the room. 

"Hey! _Hey_!" I shout at the top of my lungs, I can hear someone kick Bee away. "Don't kick my droid you _bitches_! Scared of a BB unit?" I growl yet they don't respond. General Hux leads the way as I squirm and try to do everything to get out of their grip but every time I resist, they hold onto me tighter. 

I watch Bee roll past us, what is it doing? "Bee!" I yell but I stop immediately. It's going to Kylo. Maybe today's the day I watch Hux either get kicked from the First Order or brutally murdered. 

_Yeah... No. I don't want to see any of that._

General Hux and the stormtroopers are suddenly stopped by Kylo's looming presence. Even from down the hall I can feel the rage coursing through him. "General Hux." He says with an ominous tone. The helmet's mechanical voice doesn't help him sound any less angry either. "What are you doing?" 

Hux almost looks nervous as I look at him and Kylo. I purse my lips, looking back at Kylo with pleading eyes. "Let her go." Hux waves his hand and the troopers drop me to the floor. 

"You couldn't have said gently?" I push myself back up, rubbing my back softly. My shoulder knocks against Hux's as I pass him, going to Kylo's side. 

Sure, I'm completely terrified of him right now but he beats being with Hux any time. Kylo pulls me close, his hand is tight against my waist. "Are you okay Princess?" He looks down at me, I can't tell what he's thinking but I feel calm all of a sudden. 

I hate how he can do that to me. I nod, "Yes. Yeah. I'm okay now." Bee rolls up to me and chirps, "Thank you Bee." 

"Your droid proves to be quite useful." Kylo states, "Hux, I thought I told you to bring the princess to me. Not drag her down the halls like some sort of prisoner." 

"She was resisting, Commander. So I did what I had to do." Hux crosses his arms, "I'm only following protocol." 

Kylo's free hand balls into a fist. "You may go." 

Hux and his troopers turn around and stomp away from us. I let out a breath, "Thank you." 

"They shouldn't have done that to you." He pulls me into the room he came out of, it was some sort of board room. "I wanted to talk to you." 

"What's wrong?" 

"It's about us." 

I raise a brow, "Uh. What about us?" 

"I was..." he pauses, shaking his head. "I was talking to the Supreme Leader about my feelings." 

I snort, "Yet you won't tell me how you _really_ feel." 

Kylo takes off his helmet and sets it down on the long table. "I wasn't sure how to." 

"I figured." I shrug, "What did he say?" 

"I won't repeat exactly but, he'll allow it." He frowns, he looks tired. I wonder why? Maybe the Supreme Leader did something to him. 

Narrowing my eyes at him, I ask, "You don't look so ecstatic, Commander. Did he do something?" 

"He didn't do anything. The Supreme Leader will just allow me to do what I want at this point." Kylo scowls at me. "He's getting weak." 

"And?" I grin, "Isn't that perfect for you?" 

He stops his pacing and looks at me, in some sort of wonder and surprise. "You aren't really all that you seem, hm?" Kylo gets close to me, resting his hands on my hips. 

"I _am_ a princess, I'm not clueless when it comes to the chain of power and command." I smile, pressing myself against his chest. "I can be coy, or smart, or... completely clueless."

Kylo hums, his lips twitch as his nose bumps into mine gently. " _You're perfect._ " He says, "I never thought I'd have such feelings about someone." 

I wrap my arms around his neck, "Me either. If we're being honest." 

"Your father told me you were engaged at some point. You didn't love that man?" He asks and I shake my head. 

"No, I was young and I thought I was in love. But I wasn't. He died a few months after we got engaged." I shrug, "Died in battle." 

"Battle? I thought U'Darians were peaceful." 

"We _are_. But a few years ago we had a civil war, the dark side of our planet revolted against the light side." I explain, "Not like the Force, but our planet doesn't rotate so one side is a frozen wasteland." 

"Interesting. You'll have to show me around one day." He mutters, stuffing his face into the crook of my neck. 

"I think you'd like it there." I pat the back of his head, smoothing down his hair. 

Kylo stands back up straight, "I want to show you something." 

I smile. "Sure." 

He takes my hand, grabbing his helmet with the other, and leads me out of the board room. We go down to a much busier part of the ship, the dock. I look at all the TIE fighters and various shuttles in awe. "Woah." I whisper and Kylo squeezes my hand softly. We stop in front of a larger TIE Interceptor. 

"This is yours." He gestures to it with a wave and I look at him in shock. 

"What? You're kidding, right?"

"No, I thought you deserved it. This has been on hold ever since you got here and it's better than that beat up X-Wing you had." He explains and I circle the ship with wide eyes. I run my fingers over the smooth surface and grin. 

"Can we fly? I'll race you!" I shout as I climb up the side of the ship, looking down at him. 

Kylo shrugs, "Sure. But I don't think you'll beat me." 

"Yeah right." I grin and get into the pilot's seat. I flick various buttons that seem somewhat familiar and the Interceptor roars to life. 

_Is this really happening? Yeah, it is, and I couldn't be even more enamored with Kylo Ren right now._

**_Glad we're on the same page._ **

I chuckle, pushing forward on the thrusters and I shakily make my way out of the bay doors and into space. Oh my stars, _space_ . I slow down and look at all the distant stars. _This is what space looks like? I love it!_

**_Pay attention Princess._ **

_Shit_. 

He races past me and I follow after him, speeding up as much as I can. I know TIEs can't go too far from their base ship, so we have to stay pretty close together. 

_You're a good pilot, who taught you_? 

**_No one. It runs in my blood._ **

Huh, figures. I had heard a few rumors that parents were General Organa and Han Solo. I'm assuming that they were true. Especially if he can fly this well. 

**_We'll have to do some combat training, I bet you'd do well on the field._ **

_I can get a lightsaber first right?_

**_Hm. Maybe._ **

I speed past him and back under the Star Destroyer we deployed from. Gotcha, I'm totally going to win this. 

_So what happens if I win?_

**_I haven't picked a prize yet._ **

Who said he was going to win anyways? The sensors go off as Kylo approaches behind me and I maneuver the Interceptor upwards to get out of his way. I huff and catch up to him fast, waving at him through the small side windows. 

I'm _totally_ winning, by the way. 

The bay doors slide open and I zoom in, hastily landing down on an empty spot and Kylo's ship is right behind. I open the hatch and pop my head out, "Look! I won!" 

"I let you win." He says, climbing out of the TIE Silencer. 

"Nah, you just don't want to admit it." I slide down the ladder and waltz up to him, "So what do I get?" 

"I still haven't decided.” He looks down at me, then his gaze moves to something behind me. Kylo visibly tenses and he pulls me to stand behind him. “Stay behind me.” 

“Huh? What’s happening?” 

“Commander Ren.” It’s Hux, and he sounds more pissed off than usual. “May I ask why your Knights are prowling around me during my downtime?” 

“They’re keeping an eye on you.” Kylo scoffs, “so you don’t do what you did earlier again.” 

“I didn’t do anything wrong. _I’m_ following protocol, but that’s something you seem to have forgotten how to do.” 

“Silence.” Kylo waves his hand and Hux goes flying back, he tugs at my arm sharply and pulls me along with him. 

I stare back at Hux who glares at Kylo with a red face and watery eyes. _That must’ve hurt._

**_He deserved it. Especially because of this morning._ **

_Riiiight_. I narrow my eyes at Kylo’s back and shrug. “Are you just avoiding my prize?” 

“I’m not. I’m still thinking.” He grumbles, we stop in front of the mess hall. “Do you want lunch?” 

I snap my fingers and look at him with a bright smile. “That’s it!” I say in realization. “You can treat me to dinner, like a date. Our first date.” I wink at him. 

“A date?” He sounds confused.

“Yeah! Something fancy, maybe some _trell krau_ — _ooh_ ! Or some _eres morste_ ! Ugh, that sounds _so_ good right now.” I fake a cry, memories of those two savory dishes flood my mind. 

“Princess.” Kylo snaps me back from my daydream. “You just want to have dinner with me?” 

I nod, “I do. That sounds really nice right about now.” I take his hands in mine, which completely just dwarfs in size. “Just me and you, yeah?” 

He hesitates and I can sense it, but I choose to ignore it. “Okay.” He finally agrees. 

“Perfect.” I feel all my worries wash away as he looks into my eyes. 

_It’s as if last night never even happened!_

“What?” He scowls at me, hands tightening around mine. 

_Fuckfuckfuckfuuuuu—_

“What happened last night, Princess?” He drags me into a secluded corner of the hall. “What are you up to?” 

“N-Nothing! I just had a few worries late at night but nothing happened!” I can feel my heart racing, attempting to escape my chest. “I was just scared you didn’t like me.” 

A total lie but it had to be said. I couldn’t tell him the truth. He looks at me in confusion, I can tell he wants to say something but he shakes his head. “That isn’t true. I care about you more than you think.” Kylo says. 

My stomach flutters and I smile. “You do?”

“Yes.” He nods, looking over his shoulder. No one was there yet, it felt like there was. “I—“ he hesitates. 

I push strands of his hair out of his eyes. “You don’t have to say anything right now.” I tell him. I know he _can’t_ say it, but I can feel it radiating off of him. 

_Adoration, wanting to protect me... dare I say, even love?_

“I know.” He hums, stroking my cheek with the back of his hand. The leather pulls at my skin ever so slightly, it isn’t uncomfortable though, I’m getting used to that feeling. I leave a soft kiss on his lips. 

“Thank you, Kylo Ren.” I smile. 

“For what?” 

I shrug, “I dunno, everything I guess.” 

He shakes his head, kissing my forehead gently and he pulls away with a slight hesitation. “Tomorrow night we’ll have that dinner. But for now you need some rest, I can tell you’re tired.” 

“Aww! But what about our hot make-out session?” I whine, teasing him. 

“That’ll have to wait another day.” The corners of his lips lift, _just barely_. “Okay, Princess?” 

“Ah, you got yourself a deal, tough guy!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🥺👉👈 my babies are finally going to go on a date. Also, I’m so excited for what is going to happen next!! It’s gonna be so mf... epic... 
> 
> translations (kinda):  
> Trell Krau / U’Darian dish made up of roasted veggies & fried Krau fish  
> Eres Morste / U’Darian dish made up of Eres meat (a goat-like animal), it’s cooked with fruit and honey and is very sweet yet savory!  
> [im trying to develop U’Darian lore, idk I just think it’s neat okay]


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some steamy bits in about the middle of the story but nothing that’s too serious... yet ;)

Early in the morning a woman was here, knocking at my door. "Hello?" I open the door and look at them, confused as to why they were here.

"Hi princess!" She smiles, "I have some things to deliver to you." She holds up the boxes and dress bag.

"Oh thank you, come in." I step out of her way, she places the boxes down on the floor and lays down the bag on my bed. "What's all this for?"

"It's from the Commander, I guess he wanted to give you some new clothes." She says, "He also wanted me to let you know that you'll have more dresses coming soon, they'll just take a bit longer."

"Okay." I nod, looking at the bag in wonder. "Where did these come from?"

"U'Dar! So I've heard... they've got amazing fashion and wonderful tailors." The girl smiles once more, "Well I've got to get going. I'll see you when the other dresses arrive!" She waves and then leaves, closing the door behind her.

Bee chirps and pokes at the boxes. "Careful." I tap him with my foot. "I think those are from U'Dar too."

I hang up the dress on the hook in the bathroom, I pull the bag off of it and grin. "Oh my stars!"

Bee rolls up to me, panic is laced in its chirps. "Bee, this is from my closet back home." I run my hands down the dress, smoothing down its red fabric. "Of course he'd ask for red."

My droid chirps as I rush over to open up the boxes. A pair of decorated flats is in one and in the other is some jewelry and my circlet. "Wow..." I sigh, lifting the silver circlet up gently. Bee whirrs and I nod. "Yeah, I can't believe he got my parents to send _this_."

I go over to the mirror and place the circlet on, I smile brightly and shake my head. "This is all so amazing!" I say to Bee and it spins with excitement. "I definitely owe him a thank you for all this."

"A thank you isn't needed." His deep voice sounds off around my room and I look at him with wide eyes, my face is flushed with surprise. "But you're welcome."

"I'm sorry, I didn't hear you come in." I twirl a strand of hair nervously as I look away from him. I'm not sure where this sudden shyness came from, but maybe it's just because I've been so used to wearing lazy clothes around him. Being dressed up like a princess again reminds me how I felt when I first met Kylo. Shy, nervous and my heart wouldn't keep a regular beat.

Kylo's gaze is unwavering, he stares at me with a hardened look. "Are you ready?"

"For..?" I pause, gesturing so he can continue.

"For some meetings. And then when that is all done, dinner will be ready." He stretches his hand out for me to take.

"War meetings?" I hold back a groan, "That doesn't sound like a fun date."

"That's because it isn't." I take his hand and he squeezes mine, "Okay?"

"Uh, okay." I shrug and I say goodbye to Bee on my way out. "So what are these meetings going to be about? Any specific plans or—"

Kylo cuts me off, "They're important. You won't be allowed to speak out during them."

"Why not?" I huff.

He sighs, "Because _I_ said so. So just be a good... _girlfriend_ and listen to me." Kylo says the last part with a strained tone.

_Girlfriend? That's new._

_**Shut up.** _

"You know, I'm suddenly not in the mood for a fancy dinner." I stop and let go of his hand. "Especially if you're just going to be an asshole to me."

"No, no." He turns around, grabbing my shoulders and pulling me close. "I'm— I'm trying to work with you here. I don't want you out of my sight and I just need you here with me."

I look at him with unamused eyes, but I can tell he isn't lying about this. "Fine but one more slip up and this," I point between us, "this is over!"

He nods wordlessly and I smile as he goes back to tugging me down the hallways to the meeting room. We enter the room and a few people are there already, sharing notes and thoughts. General Hux isn't anywhere to be found, _thankfully_. Kylo Ren sits at the end of the long table and he tells me to sit next to him.

"Really?" I sit to his left, "I'm honored. Back home, a woman would never be at a meeting like this."

"That's too bad." He hums, "Some of the most powerful people in this galaxy are women, after all."

"Yeah..." I look at the side of his face, he's thinking about something... someone important to him, I suppose. But I try not to think about it too much, if I do he'll be suspicious of me all over again and I don't want that. Being on his bad side doesn't seem like an option, well, not like I even want to be on that side.

No, I'm more interested in seeing what makes him tick. What he feels, if he even can feel, and what he thinks about me. The meeting begins after Hux arrives and I look off in boredom, these things never really caught my interested. My mind wandered off into various thoughts about Kylo Ren. Who is he under all the heavy clothes and armor? Is he someone who can be exposed with just a few simple words.

_Something like I love you?_

I hear him shift behind me. Thoughts, be quiet. I exhale quietly.It's too soon for an 'I love you'. Maybe an 'I appreciate you and I'm sorry for snooping around and watching you torture some girl? Yeah! I'm totally over it and forgive you for all of that weird shit.'

No, no. That would just end in my bloody murder. My eyes flick over to Hux, his face is turning red as he spews about some random war propaganda to get the other people in the room hyped up. It's sort of working as they all nod in agreement.

_**Lost in thought, Princess?** _

I bite my lip, shaking my head as I do. _Sort of. Just thinking about everything, I guess._

_**Like what?** _

_You, mostly._

_Ah. I see._

Kylo looks at me for a short second, his lips tilt up and he rests his hand on my thigh. My breath hitches and I just wish that he never gave me such a short dress. It wasn't too short, but sitting down made it hike up a bit. His thumb rubs against my skin and I look at him in shock. "Is something the matter, Princess?" Hux suddenly calls me out.

I shake my head, "No. I wasn't even talking, General."

Kylo's hand tightens, "Continue on with the meeting."

My hand meets his, I try to move it so that he isn't so close to... you know. But he doesn't budge and I give up, as long as he doesn't move up any more this is fine. _Yeah, this is toootallly fine._

His hand slides up a bit more and I clamp my lips together so I don't speak out. I grab his wrist and his brows furrow together as he looks forward.

_What the hell are you doing?_

**_I'm bored._ **

_And? So am I but you don't see me trying to grab at your stuff!_

_**Just relax, Princess, you're always so uptight.** _

_You're one to talk, commander._

Kylo's hand reaches under my skirt and I bite my thumb nail to keep quiet. His gloved fingers curl around the edge of my underwear, teasing against the sensitive skin.

**_You feel so soft._ **

A blush rushes up to my face. How long is this meeting going to be? Can we all just call it quits now, please?!

_**So warm and inviting, too.** _

His face doesn't change, he just stares straight ahead with a blank look.

_The hell are you trying to do?_

His fingers shoot down, teasing at my entrance and I squeak.

_Kylo. Stop!_

"Meeting adjourned." A random person speaks up and I sigh as everyone gets up to leave.

"What the fuck?" I hiss at him, pulling his hand away from me. "Are you crazy?"

Kylo stands up. "You liked it."

I clench my teeth and fists, glaring up at him. "I did not! That could've been so embarrassing!"

"You would've been fine." He takes my hand and leads me out the room. "And now it's dinner time."

"I don't want to have dinner with you." I scowl at his back, "I'm mad at you now!"

"You aren't mad, you're just upset that we couldn't go further." Kylo states as we enter an odd room. It looked like a bedroom. Was this his bedroom?

"I am _not_."

"Whatever you say." Kylo hums as he walks off into another room, he comes out with a tray of covered food. I take a seat at the dining table and frown. "Why are you frowning?"

"I'm embarrassed, is all." He sets down the tray and takes off the covers, I gasp at the food. "Trell Krau!"

"Yes, I was also able to get a cake from the cooks. That's in the fridge for later." He sits across from me, shrugging off his cloak and letting it flop against the back of his chair.

"Thank you, Kylo." I smile and then dig in. I haven't had U'Darian food or a proper meal in weeks, so this tasted and felt like heaven to me.

Halfway though my plate I notice he barely has touched his food. "Do you not like it?"

"No, I do. I'm just amazed at how fast you can eat." He teases, "It's not very princess-like."

"Huh." I scoff. "Not everything I do needs to be 'princess-like'."

I finish eating, "can I go grab that cake?"

"Sure." He waves me off as he takes another bite of food.

I wander off to the kitchen, opening the fridge up and my eyes meet a small chocolate cake. I grab it and shut the door with my foot. "Here's dessert!" I announce as I waltz back into the small dining room. My eyes meet with Kylo's, he's leaned back in his chair, looking at me as if I'm the cake itself. "The cake. Not me." I smile and set it down between us on the table.

He takes a knife and cuts a slice out for me, "I'm not hungry for cake." He says as I start to ask why he doesn't want any. Okay, fair enough.

"Who doesn't like cake?" I frown and take a bite of the chocolatey goodness. "This is really well made too! You're sure you don't want any?" I hold out my fork for him and he takes a bite.

"It's good, but I'm not that hungry." He crosses his arms as he watches me finish up the slice.

I feel weird. As if something is about to happen, but I just didn't know what he was thinking. Kylo was really good at shutting out his thoughts from me, and thankfully, I'm starting to get better at it too. Kylo falls quiet as he watches me push my plate aside. "Are you okay?" He shifts, slamming a hand down on the table. I jump and push back, "Did I do something?"

He brushes his hair out of his eyes, "Yes. You did."

I frown, "I-I'm sorry. I don't know what happened but I didn't mean to upset you." I stand up, getting ready to hightail it out of here. He follows me, stepping forward and boxing me in between him and the cold wall. "Kylo?"

He leans in, taking a deep breath. "You're such a _tease_ , you know."

"I—"

"Everything you do makes me feel... odd. I don't know how to explain it." He tangles his fingers in my hair, pulling my head back gently to look at him.

He looks confused, his eyes are filled with both hurt and love. "All I know is that you are supposed to be mine. And I want you to know that I feel the same, you were made to be mine."

"That sounds kind of creepy, Commander."

Kylo growls, "What did I say? You don't call me that anymore."

I smirk, "And if I do? What are you going to do about it, Commander Ren?"

"Remember all the other times you've defied me? And how I said something would happen if you kept doing that?" He asks and I nod. "Well I just thought of the perfect way to take care of it."

I grimace, swallowing in the cold air. _Oh Maker, help me. Because I know I'm about to get my ass handed to me._


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!!! smut warning !!!! this whole chapter is just smut. it’s also written in the third person, buuuut i don’t think i’ll be doing that anymore. just feels kinda weird. anyways ! enjoy ! ☺️

Kylo Ren looks down at the girl he had pinned against the wall. She looks nervous, afraid of what's going to happen to her next. But he didn't let his feelings waver, he was tired of her defying his wishes and acting out whenever he said something she didn't like. "Come with me." He grabs her hand and pulls her into his bedroom.

"What are we doing in here?" She asks softly. Almost as if she was playing the innocent role here. But she was far from it, he knew what she was really like.

"Your punishment."

"Are you going to attack me or something?" She crosses her arms, "That's messed up."

Kylo takes a seat on the bed, patting the space next to him. "Why would I do that to you?"

He senses her hesitation, but then sits down next to him. "I don't know."

"Princess, I'd never hurt you." He murmurs into her ear, "At least, not without your permission."

Kylo feels her tense up, he can hear her swallow dryly as he brushes his lips against her neck. "I know you want to." He whispers.

"I don't know what you're going on about." She shakes her head.

"Don't play dumb, Princess. You've been waiting ever since you laid your eyes on me."

She asks, "Have you?"

Kylo pauses, "I have."

His lips kiss her neck, teeth pulling at her sensitive skin and he leaves a dark bruise behind. She shudders slightly, her hand pushes his shoulder and he leans back. "I— I don't think we should. Aren't people like us not supposed to do this stuff?"

"We aren't Jedi," he scoffs, "We can do whatever we want." His hands fumble with the buttons on his shirt, he then tugs it off, tossing the shit behind him.

Kylo can feel her nerves radiate off her, " _Relax_." He gently pushes her back, her head hits the pillows behind her as he climbs over her.

"Kylo—"

"Hush." He shushes her, his hand runs down her side and stops at her hip. "Well? Have you decided?"

She bites her lip, looking away from him, "Yes." She whispers.

"What?" He teases, pressing his knee between her legs.

"I said yes!" She cries out and Kylo's hand drift down from her hip and he pushes her dress up, past her waist.

She grabs the skirts and pulls the dress up and off of her, she throws it to the side and leans up. The Princess throws her arms around his neck, pressing her lips against his in a wild passion. Kylo groans as his tongue clashes with hers, their teeth bump together as he holds onto her tightly with his bare hands.

A soft moan escapes her throat as they pull away from each other, "Do you want me?" She asks him softly, she looked so vulnerable in that moment. Kylo sighs, his Adam's apple bobbing as he watches her with dreamy eyes.

"I do. Yes." He fumbles with the button on his pants and she reaches down, unbuttoning them for him. He pulls them off, along with his underwear as they fervently meet for another kiss. She whines as his hand presses against her cheek, the other teasing down between her legs.

"Kylo." She mutters as his hand pulls her underwear to the side, his thumb meets the sensitive nub and she shuts her eyes. "Ah. Kylo, please... right there..." she hums.

He watches her brows furrow as he moves his thumb back and forth, "Do you like that?"

"Ye- yeah, yes." Her back arches as his other hand teases at her entrance.

_Kylo, this feels so good._

_**You look like you're enjoying it.** _

  
A smile grows on her face. "What else do you like, Princess?" His thumb swirls around her, another moan escapes her lips as he watches her squirm beneath him. "I asked you a question." He presses down against her and she groans.

"I don't— _mmh_ — I'm not sure." His movements pause, she opens her eyes and looks at him. "What happened?"

"Am I— is this your first time?"

"Maybe? So? Who cares." She wiggles her hips, "Why'd you stop touching me?"

"You didn't mention I'd be your first." He pulls his hands away from her and she whines.

"You don't get to back out right now!" The Princess scoffs. She sits up and grabs at his hand, placing it down between her legs once more. "Please don't." She begs him.

"Okay." He says and she falls back down into the bed. Kylo's hands push her apart as he leans down, coming close to her.

She was confused at what he was doing, but quickly realized as his tongue licked up between her legs. "Ah!" She whines.

"Did I hurt you?" He stops, eyebrows raised with worry.

"No, no, please keep going!" She shakes her head, leaning back into the pillows more.

His tongue teases at her entrance, barely pressing into her tight hole, it attempted to clench at nothing. She was so wet, so perfect, his eyes looked up at her. Her eyes are squeezed shut, mouth open as she pants and moans. He presses a kiss to her clit, tongue swirling around the bud, humming as he does so. He moves his hand from her thigh, pressing his thumb into her.

"Kylo, please!" She cries out at the sudden penetration, "oh my stars."

Her hips jerk upwards and he has to use his other hand to hold her down as he swallows her up. She tastes so sweet, like honey and roses. Kylo groaned as he licks at her wetness. "I'm—" she grinds against his mouth, moans escape her mouth as she gushes. He pulls away from her, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. She's breathing heavily, her eyes are barely open as she looks up at him.

She gives him a tired smile as he takes his thumb out of her, she hums at the sudden emptiness. Kylo can feel himself straining against his underwear, but he pushes his feelings aside for the moment.

"Was that alright?" He asks.

"More than alright." She says.

"That's good." He tugs off her panties, tossing it behind him. She reaches back and takes off her bra, she feels odd without it, but decides to not make a big deal. Kylo takes in the sight below him. Her hair is spread out against the pillows, her skin looks soft and lips are swollen and red. Her legs are still spread apart, as if she's inviting him for more. "But you aren't finished, are you?"

"Not until you are." She teases as he pulls off his own underwear, releasing his member from its constraint. Her teasing grin drops as she looks at the size of him. "Uhm, Kylo."

"Yes?" He presses a kiss to her breast, pulling at her skin.

"I don't want to undermine your abilities, but I don't think that—" she can't even say it, her face glows with embarrassment.

He chuckles, "We'll figure it out. Besides, you're wet for me, so that helps. Hm?"

The princess looks away from him, hiding her face in the pillow. "Don't hide from me." He grasps her chin, making her face him. "I love how you look at me with those wide eyes. So innocent and perfect."

He teases her entrance with the tip of his dick. "Yet, you're needy. You want this." He plunges in slightly and she moans out loudly. "All of this, filling up your tight little hole." He whispers into her ear, his hand wraps around her neck as he pushes in all the way.

"Ah, Ky— Kylo, please... please." She cries out, grabbing at his wrist as he tightens his grip. He pulls out, leaving only the tip before slamming right back into her. Moans escape her throat as he thrusts in and out.

Her heat is enticing, maddening, he can feel himself become addicted to her mewls and slick warmth as he fucks her into his bed. "You were made to be mine." He growls, "and now you are."

The echoes of skin-on-skin reverberate around the room as his cock pounds relentlessly into her tight cunt. "Yes!" She whines, "I'm yours, Kylo, I'll always be yours."

"That's right." His teeth pull the sensitive skin of her breast and his thrusting speeds up.

The princess moans as she reaches her peak, a sudden buzzing sensation circles around her clit as she comes. "Wha- Kylo!" She throws her head back, dizzy at the feeling of the force tugging at her and his unrelenting thrusting. "I'm coming!"

"Come for me." He whispers as he slows down just a bit for her to ride it out, then he speeds back up.

Tears fill her eyes up at the overwhelming amount of pleasure coursing through her veins, his name escapes her lips over and over again as his thumb rubs circles and crosses into her swollen clit. Her name escapes him as he growls, his hand clenches at her throat tighter. His thrusting slows as he comes, warmth shoots into her as she cries out and comes for a third time.

He stops for a moment, breathing heavily and he lets go of her throat. His eyes are shut as he swallows the air. "Kylo?" She calls out to him and he opens his eyes, blinking at her.

"Did I hurt you? I'm sorry." He pulls away from her but before he can move, she wraps her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck.

She giggles quietly, “no, you didn't hurt me."

She drops her legs back down and he pulls out of her, he watches her shudder as he looks down, cum leaking out of her, "I hope you don't mind the mess."

"As long as you clean me up." She sighs as he lays down next to her, pulling her close to him by the waist. "Are you okay?"

"I'm doing a lot better now." Kylo states, tucking her head beneath his chin. She places her arm over him, rubbing small circles into his back. "Also earlier, when I called you my girlfriend?"

"What about it?" Her voice comes out as muffled.

"I meant that, you know."

"I could tell." She smiles and yawns. "But I'm tired. We can talk about this later."

"Let me clean you up before you fall asleep." Kylo stands up and goes to the bathroom. She frowns at the sudden loss of warmth but comes back in with a wet cloth.

"Come here." He jerks his head so she can move down and she does, he wipes her clean of his mess. He hopes he wouldn't regret coming inside her, he wasn't sure if she did anything to prevent any pregnancies.

"Ugh, I can feel your worries." She groans, "Nothing will happen." She reassures him.

"Okay." He folds up the towel and tosses it into the laundry bin nearby. Kylo pulls down the blankets and she climbs in after him. "Get some rest." The princess falls asleep right as her head lands on the pillow. He pulls her close again, listening to her soft breaths as he relaxes.

Kylo Ren would never admit to her or to anyone that he really is in love with the princess. Those words would have to wait until their wedding day, but that all depends on how the princess feels within the next few months. And he worries that with all these dark secrets he carried, she wouldn't want him for much longer.

But that is how Kylo lives, everyone leaves him sooner or later. It was just the cycle. Yet a small sliver of hope and light prayed that she would be the one to break the cycle and heal the cracks in his heart.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> angst to fluff to angst. it’s just a vicious cycle between them tbh. but i love it ❤️

I groan, shifting around in the bed as I bump my head into something hard. I open my eyes, blinking at the broad chest in front of me, gasping, I push back and sit up. My mind buzzes with the thoughts from last night.

_I really did, huh?_ I shake my head and creep out of bed quietly, still in disbelief. Clearly, things happened, I inspect my skin in the bathroom mirror. Dark bruises littered around my neck and chest and a faint handprint is also visible. Blushing, I pull on a random shirt I stole from Kylo. I wasn't really sure how to feel about all of this, obviously it was great but...

Sighing, I peek out of the bathroom and look at Kylo. He's fast asleep, blankets pulled up around him cozily as he snoozes away. It's still early in the morning, I can make a run for it! The embarrassment of being a mess after all of this... and my brain was still trying to catch up with how I felt. I decide to ditch my dress and shoes, they'd show up back in my room at some point. A silver glint catches my eye and I turn back, my circlet. I couldn't leave that behind.

Going back over to the side table, I pick up the circlet and Kylo shifts. "Going somewhere?" He calls out to me.

I shake my head, "No I'm just... uhh... gathering my stuff?"

"You were about to leave." Kylo sits up in bed, the blankets fall down and only leave his bottom half covered. My face turns red as I turn away from him, "Right?"

"I was going to come back." I mutter.

"Look at me." He says and I feel myself turn to look back at him. His hair is messy and he has dark circles under his eyes. "Why were you going to leave?"

"Embarrassment, mostly." The words pour out of my mouth and I slap a hand over my lips. "I didn't mean to say that!" Kylo chuckles, standing up. I yelp and cover my eyes with my other hand. "Can you put some pants on?"

"It's not something you haven't seen already." I hear him walk closer to me and I blindly back up, bumping into the dining table. _Sort of like a deja vu moment, thanks universe._ "Fine." He scoffs and he shifts away, the rustle of clothes signals that it's safe to look again.

"Thanks. I should go though, Bee is probably worried!" I reach for the door once again but my arm freezes and my body goes rigid.

_I'm really starting to hate the Force right now._

"Tell me what you're thinking." His voice echoes around in my thoughts.

_Embarrassment, love, happiness, **regret**._

My arm goes slack and my posture relaxes. "Uh—"

"Get out." He scowls at me.

I shake my head, "Wait, no. Kylo it's not what you think!"

"Get out!" Kylo shouts, " _GET OUT!_ "

I frown, sliding the door and stepping out. As I leave I can hear the clatter and crash of plates and silverware against the ground. I cross my arms as I go back to my room, trying to make myself smaller as I avoid all the troopers and various employees of the Star Destroyer.

Did I really regret last night? No... well, at least my heart didn't. But he can only see what my thoughts say and the brain says yes. I enter the safety of my room and crawl into my bed. Bee wasn't in here so there wasn't anyone to listen to me complain about my confusing love life.

I squeeze a pillow and hold back tears but that doesn't work and the waterfall begins. "This isn't fair." I cry into the pillow, nothing made sense anymore. Ever since I stepped on this god-forsaken spaceship everything has just gone to shit.

My social life is nonexistent, my only friend is a droid, my "boyfriend" _slash_ "fiancé" _slash_ teacher is a jerk and no one respects me. I sit up, staring at myself in the vanity's mirror that's across the room. But that isn't true? I've got myself, after all, and I respect and love myself. I don't need anyone else, right?

I mutter, "Well his dick is a bonus."

Maybe it's about time I come clean to Kylo, what else could happen? He slashes me in half with his laser sword? _As if._ U'Dar would instantly consider him a war criminal and put the biggest bounty on his head. Even though I'm pretty sure he's already a war criminal but that's beside the point. I groan and flop back onto my bed, letting out a sigh as I look up at the dark ceiling.

_If you can hear me, I don't regret anything. Jerk._

A pause. And nothing.

_Hellooo? Commander Ren? Come on, answer me!_

I've only been awake for at least two hours and I already just want to sleep away all the stress that I'm feeling. This is unbelievable, I'm an adult and yet I've been whittled down to feeling like I'm in some forbidden teenage romance with this guy.

_**I'm coming, Princess.** _

I shake my head— _Huh? What? Did I hear that right?_ I sit up and stare at my door, waiting for some magical powers to break it down and reveal my prince waiting for me.

A few moments pass and the door slides open, Kylo is standing there decked out in his whole outfit. Mask and all. "Kylo?" I raise a brow. "Kylo, I'm sorry." I go to stand up and he raises his hand up, making me freeze in place.

He walks in, the door shuts behind him. "I really am sorry. Can't you tell I'm being sincere?"

His hand falls back to his side and his shoulders slack. "I can. But if you talk like that to others, they might not believe you."

"Uh-huh." I nod, pulling back my blankets. "Do you want to sit?" He shakes his head. "Ah come on, take a moment to relax before a crazy day!"

He sighs and pulls off his helmet, kicking off his boots and places them by the door. Kylo sits next to me and I pull the blanket up to his waist. "I just reacted like that because everything hadn't caught up to me."

"I know."

"You were my first, you know."

Kylo looks away, then back at me. "I know." A pause, "I didn't realize I would be."

"Yeah, I mean being a princess comes with..." I pause for a dramatic effect, " _awesome_ virgin powers!" I grin and let out a laugh.

He smiles. A real and genuine smile. "You have a cute smile, Kylo. You should do that more often."

"Only for you." He hums, playing with a piece of my hair. He pulls me close, setting me on his lap. " _Just_ you."

"I wouldn't want it any other way." I rest my hands on his chest and he presses his forehead against mine. "I wasn't thinking about it, but being like this reminds me about our wedding."

He tenses beneath me, "What about it?"

"Well, is it still happening? Or did you change your mind."

He pulls back, "It's still happening. Why wouldn't it? I promised your father."

I frown, "Oh, right." I really hope he wasn't just going to marry me for my father's sake, not when all these feelings are starting to sprout up in my heart. "In six months?"

"Technically five months now." Kylo shakes his head, "but don't over think it. I'll take care of it."

"Okay." I smile, reassuring him and myself.

He places a soft kiss on my lips before moving me off of him, "I've got to go now. I'll have someone bring you food."

I nod, "I— I'll miss you." I call out to him. He stops by the door, looking over his shoulder with wide eyes. "Just saying." I huff.

"I'll miss you too." Kylo replies and I look at him in shock as he steps out of my room without another word.

My heart skips a beat as that sentence repeats itself in my head. One step closer to an I love you, I guess. I wonder when that would be coming up? Suddenly, dread sits at the bottom of my stomach.

_The girl in the room. Was she still here?_

My mind buzzed with worry, I really hope he didn't hear any of my thoughts.

_**What girl, Princess?** _

_Oh, fuck._

I stumble and go to lock my door, "Let me in!" I hear Kylo roar from the other side. "Princess." He growls.

"Dammit. Fuck. Shit." I curse as I back away from the door. "No!" I call out to him. "I'm sorry but you're probably going to slice me in half if I do, Kylo!"

"Are you talking about that Rebel scum? I had her moved to Starkiller." He scoffs. "Are you worried for her?"

I shake my head, he can't even see me. "Uh, no. Just..."

"Just _what_?" He barks and the door shakes as his fists collide with it.

"I may or may not have seen you interrogate her?" I wince, hoping the door can hold up against him.

Silence falls, but it only lasts for a split second as the door is torn open by a red lightsaber. Kylo slashes at it as I panic, backing away into the farthest corner of my room. He enters with a red face and a scowl. "Why?"

"I was curious and—"

_And what? Jealous? Of some girl I barely knew? Did I think she would hinder our relationship?_

"And I just didn't want you to kill her." I say.

"What I do with prisoners is none of your concern. If you are to be my wife one day then you will keep to yourself and only worry about yourself." He deactivates the saber, tucking it away. "Do you understand me?"

I frown, looking away from him with teary eyes. He crouches down in front of me, grabbing my face and roughly turning me to face him. "Do you?"

A sob escapes my lips and his tough-guy façade fades. "No, don't cry..." he mutters, pulling me into his chest. "I'm sorry. _I'm sorry_." He whispers, nuzzling his face into my hair.

"You wouldn't act like that if you were truly sorry." I whimper, "Please don't hurt me."

"I wouldn't— I would never." He rests his hands on my shoulders, scanning my face with concern. "I'm sorry."

I rub at my eyes, wiping the tears away. "Okay." I can forgive Kylo, but the trust I had in him just withered away like a flower. Kylo brushes his fingers through my hair, he stands up and pulls me with him. "Come with me."

"I can't, not after this shit show." I sigh.

"Please. You can't stay in here. Stay with me and once they fix your door you can come back." His eyes are begging me, like he wants to fix what he just did to me.

"Fine." I give in, "Okay. But pull a saber on me again and I'm stealing a ship and flying the fuck out of here."

"Deal." He suddenly lifts me up, "Hold on to me."

I go to complain but shut my mouth right after. I wrap my arms around his neck and legs around his waist, his hands hold me up tightly by the thighs. "You're going to _carry_ me to your room?"

"You're shaking like a leaf." Kylo says.

A frown appears on my face once again, I nuzzle into the crook of his neck so no one can see me. My heart feels foggy as different feelings fly back and forth in my head. I just didn't know how to feel about Kylo. One second it's pure love and respect and seconds later it's fear and resentment. My arms tighten around him and I shake my head.

Maybe it's time I stop thinking so negatively about everything that has happened to me so far. But that wasn't going to be easy.


	13. Chapter 13

After dropping me off in his room, Kylo decided it would be alright to just leave me there for hours without telling me when he'd be back. Did he really think I'd be okay wallowing in my self pity? I'm still upset with him and myself, I shouldn't have forgiven him so easily and yet I do it anyways.

Thankfully I was able to take a nap but he still wasn't back yet. "This sucks." I talk aloud. "And I suck for being so easily tempted." I push myself off of his bed and dig through his closet, I change out of this stained shirt and into another one of his.

A knock on the door makes me freeze and I look over at it suspiciously. I don't move especially since I don't know who's on the other side. If it is Kylo, he'd just barge right on in, so clearly this is someone else. "Master Ren?" They knock again and I back up, hopping onto the bed and crouching down behind it. They sigh and give up, their footsteps fade away. Well, this definitely wasn't Hux, seeing as they were looking for _Master_ Ren.

Chills went up my spine, I wonder who considered him as their master? He must hold more power than I've ever thought. After a few minutes I leave my hiding spot and wander into the small kitchenette, I'm starving and if Kylo gets mad at me for stealing his food... well that's on him. My eyes land on the chocolate cake from yesterday and I smile, pulling out of the fridge. I grab a fork and dig in, settling back into his bed. And if a few crumbs make their way into his bed, that isn't my problem.

I check the time on the datapad Kylo left me, it's late at night and he still isn't back. I didn't want to wander too far from his room since I didn't know how to get back here and he'd probably get all pissed off again knowing I left. Another knock at the door and I groan. This time they continuously knock, "Princess!" A frantic shout calls from the other side.

"What?" I sigh and open the door, a lieutenant looks at me with wide and scared eyes. " _Well_?"

"It's Commander Ren, he's been injured and won't stop asking about you. You need to come with me." He gestures at me to follow him. My thoughts fill with worry as I follow after him, trying my hardest to keep up with his quick pace.

"What do you mean he's been injured?"

"On Starkiller. It was destroyed and he was injured by two people. Resistance soldiers." He quickly explains as we arrive in the medbay. It's packed with troopers and other soldiers, he leads me through the crowd and panicky people into a much more quiet back room.

Kylo Ren lays there on a cot fast asleep. His eyes are scrunched together in pain as the surgeon-droid patches up a long cut that went from his cheek to chest. "Wha—" I cover my mouth. "Oh maker." A few curses escape from my lips as the lieutenant holds my shoulder in comfort.

"He'll be alright. I'm sure once the droid is done you'll be able to sit with him." He lets go of me and leaves me alone, I stay still and watch Kylo from a distance.

_Please be okay._

I frown, my hands clasp together as I watch the droid work at his injuries. He didn't tell me he was going to battle some people, more importantly the Resistance. It was as if this was an everyday thing to him, he goes out to fight and comes back to me as if nothing had happened? The droid stops and backs away, seemingly done with its job. It leaves the room to tend to others and I step forward to Kylo's cot.

He's still asleep and he looks peaceful now. A black bandage holds his skin together, his hair is a mess and his clothes are filthy. I rest my hand on the uninjured side of his face, pushing the hair off of his forehead. "You're crazy, Kylo." I mutter, watching him with worried eyes. I can't believe he didn't tell me. Personally I find it important to tell the person you're so infatuated with that you're going off to fight some huge, important battle.

"Your thoughts are too loud." He speaks up which startles me, I pull my hand away from him. "I was going to tell you when I got back... coming back unscathed was the goal."

"Clearly it didn't work out." I frown, crossing my arms. "Why not say anything beforehand?"

"I didn't want you to worry more than usual." Kylo sighs. "You have a lot on your plate already."

"Oh _yeah_ because I'm _sooo_ busy stuffing cake in my face and taking naps in your room."I scoff. "You can trust me, Kylo."

"I wouldn't be saying that. Especially not after you confessing to being secretively following me when I told you not to." He tries to sit up but I push him back down.

"You need your rest." I sit down in the chair next to the cot. "You almost died."

He mumbles, "I was no where near death."

"When that lieutenant got me, he made it sound like you were on your deathbed."

"Who was it? I'll have him taken care off." He goes to sit up again and I hold him down.

"Kylo. Rest." Now I feel like the top dog. "You're hurt and tired. So just sit down and get some fucking sleep, okay?" I hiss at him.

He looks at me, stunned. His mouth shuts and so do his eyes. I watch him sleep, I've had plenty of rest and I don't need any more of it. I pull my legs up and wrap my arms around them, resting my chin on one knee. Tears prick at my eyes as Kylo sleeps. My heart aches at the fact that he went out there, _alone_ , and got hurt. I wish I was stronger so I could go with him and back him up, like a good wife.

Even though we aren't married yet I still want to protect him with everything I've got. The doors to the room open and I glance over to the figures that have just entered. Two people, clad in heavy black armor and masks, look at Kylo Ren. Their presence felt heavy and gloomy.

One speaks up, "How long has he been out?"

"Barely over an hour." I answer. "Who are you?"

"Two of his Knights." He looks at me, "And you?"

I raise a brow, "Of course he didn't mention me. I'm to be his wife... eventually."

"He mentioned you. I just didn't know you had a face to go with his stories." The knight hums and the other one knocks him with their elbow. "He talks about you often."

"That's good to know." I look away from them and back at Kylo.

"We can tell you care for him." The other talks, his voice is much softer though. Even with the muffle the helmet makes. "It's clear as day."

"Uh-huh." I sigh, "Should I take a message or—"

"Yes. Let him know we're pursuing the Rebels and their base as we speak." The first knight interrupts me, "That's all."

The Knights leave without another word and I don't bother to watch them. There's another thing Kylo failed to mention but it's not like I didn't know the Knights of Ren existed, I only thought they were a fairytale.

_I guess they aren't._

I spend the next few hours watching over Kylo, unmoving and resisting anyone who came in here to tell me to rest and come back to visit the next day. If he was calling for me while I was completely oblivious to all of this happening then I'm certainly not going to just get up and leave.

_Even if my thoughts really wanted me to steal a ship and zip back home_.

But I can't do that, not now at least. Being alone wasn't really the goal for myself. I like Kylo, even if I'm too shy to admit it, I want to be by his side and help him, and I want to learn how to use the Force properly. Yet... it's looking as if that won't happen for a long time.

Kylo begins to stir and I look at him, he sighs and starts to roll over onto his injured side. "Ah, no..." I whisper and pull him back to lay down properly. I definitely don't want him complaining in the morning. He groans and mutters something under his breath as I readjust him onto his back. I let out a sigh of relief and sit back down.

"Princess?" A voice calls for me at the door and I look over at them, "You really should get some sleep now. Or at least go eat something before the dining hall closes."

I frown, "Fine. But I'm coming back here to eat."

"That's perfectly fine." I stand up, hesitating slightly to just leave his side. What if he wakes up and I'm not here?

"If he wakes up, send someone to get me immediately." I say to the nurse.

She responds to me but I don't catch what she says as I leave the room. I'll have to make this trip quick. I grab some muffins and other breakfast items so they can last while I'm up by Kylo's side. My hands are full as I take my time to go back to the Medbay to stretch my legs. I stop in front of a large viewing window that looks out to the busy bay that has all the ships and fighters. They're flying in and out and I just wish I could be one of them instead of a stupid princess who's stuck here all the time.

"Hey. Are you a pilot?" Someone behind me interrupts and I turn to look at them. "You better hurry and get ready, we've got to deploy at oh-five-hundred."

"Um, I am but I'm new. So I'm a little lost." I lie.

_Oh maker, why am I lying?_

"Follow me." They gesture and I follow after them. "I'm TE-4392. But everyone just calls me Tyler. You?"

"I'm... uh, I just go by Lou." I smile and they lead me into a room with various outfits and uniforms. I set down my food, forgetting about it all as I look at the pilot's clothes.

"You've done all your practice classes, yeah?" They lift various clothes to see which would fit me best.

I nod, "Yes I have." _If flying with Kylo Ren counts. And why am I still going on with the lie?_

"Perfect. Here." Tyler gives me a uniform and tells me to go change. I switch out my pajamas for the well-structured suit and look at myself in the mirror. I really _do_ look First Order now.

"Here's your helmet." They hand me a glossy black stormtrooper helmet, "Even if you aren't technically a trooper, all pilots have to wear these for the respirators."

"Cool." I place it on and look around. "Super cool."

"C'mon lets get you a TIE fighter and we can get going." I nod and follow after Tyler.

_What the fuck is wrong with me? Am I just doing all this while Kylo is passed out because I just can?_

I grin under the helmet as Tyler gestures to a ship. "Here's yours." It's different than the other one I flew, this one is just the standard TIE fighter. "See you out there, kid."

"Thanks." I wave and they walk off, leaving me to stumble into the TIE alone.

I look at the complicated control panel and various buttons. Shit, what have I just gotten myself into?


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some smut in the middle to end of the chapter, tee-hee 😙

Doing drill after drill was starting to wear me out as I was chased by other pilots and fighters. I push forward on the thrusters to try to escape their targeting systems, adrenaline rushing through me as I do so. Defying Kylo didn't feel too bad now, I'm sure he's still knocked out cold and I wouldn't get into any serious trouble.

_It's not like I'm shooting down X-Wings anyways._

It all unfortunately came to an end as a leading officer told us to come back to base for a break. "Hey, you were really good out there!" A different pilot shouts to me. He tugs off his helmet and I do the same with a bright smile on my face. "Are you new?"

"Yeah, I am. Thank you." I say, "I'm Lou." I hold my hand out for him to shake and he does so.

"Awesome. I'm Milo." He grins, "Wanna get dinner with my friends and I?"

I shake my head, "Sorry I can't... I have something to do."

"Ah! That's too bad. I'll see you next trip though?" Milo runs a hand through his hair and I look away, _he's... like... suspiciously cute._

"Definitely." I lie straight through my teeth. "See ya!" I nod and walk off, avoiding anyone else. I had to get back to Kylo before he notices that I was gone for a long time.

I peel off the pilot's clothes and leave on the black trousers and tank top, ditching the helmet on a random table. I slink out of the room and down the hallway that leads to the Medbay. "Princess, there you are." I groan quietly.

"Hello, General." I turn to face the red-haired fireball. "Can I help you?"

"Oh yes, you can. Do you care to explain to me or Commander Ren why you were on a TIE fighter flying around out there." He crosses his arms, raising a brow at me. "Well?"

I huff, "I don't know what you're talking about." Another lie. I think I'm getting better at this, honestly!

"I bet to differ." He takes out his datapad which showcases footage and photos of me hopping into the TIE fighter. "So, do you want me to tell Ren or will you take care of it?"

"You know what? I'd love to watch you tell Kylo." I gesture to him so he can lead the way and he glares at me, turning back into the Medbay. I follow him as we enter Kylo's room. He's wide awake and almost looks confused as to why we're in here together.

"Are you two making amends?" He asks.

Hux tuts, "Far from it, I'm afraid." He pauses and Kylo waves for him to continue.

I step back and bite my lip nervously as Hux begins talking about how I just took a joyride on a TIE fighter. "She was pretending to be a pilot and trained with the others. What if something happened, Princess? What if you lost control and crashed into another fighter?"

"I'm not that bad of a pilot, asshole." I bite back at him, " _Uvet rám kreee_." I curse.

Kylo looks at me with a dark glare and I frown. "Kylo, it's not like—"

"Be quiet. Hux. I'll take care of this, you're dismissed."

General Hux turns and gives me a malicious smile, "Good luck getting out of this one." He whispers to me and exits the room.

"I can explain!" I shout out, "Please. Someone just confused me for a pilot and I went along with it. I'll never do it again, I swear."

He doesn't look convinced. "I— I swear I won't fly ever again if you just forget about this."

"Isn't your dream to fly? To be free?" He asks in a low tone.

I shrug, "It is. But I'd rather have you not kill me over something like this."

"I'd never kill you." Kylo frowns. "Why would I? Come sit next to me."

I sit next to him, the awkwardness in the air rises as we say nothing. He sighs. "I'm annoyed, but not mad. This is something we can take care of."

"What do you mean?" I grimace, "Ugh are you going to lock me in a room again? At least Bee will be there."

"It's simple, you just won't leave my side at all." A small smile appears on his face. "I'll have your things moved to my room."

"Wha- huh? That's it?" I give him a confused look, that was really it?

"Unless you'd want something worse, what are you thinking about?" He grabs my chin gently, making me lock eyes with him. "Hm."

I blush, "I thought you'd really lock me up."

"I'd never do that to you." Kylo says. " _Never_."

"Oh." I pause, "Okay." He leaves a soft kiss on my forehead and I smile. "When are you being discharged from here?"

"Tomorrow." He doesn't sound too excited about that. "They aren't too eager to let me go tonight."

"I mean that's smart. You'd probably do something to your wound." I tease, running a soft touch over his neck. He shudders and frowns.

"I wouldn't do that." He shifts, laying back in bed, watching me with cautious eyes.

"Why not?"

"I might do something."

I snort and laugh, "Oh please. Like you could do anything right now." Kylo gives me a blank look and I stop laughing, "Right?" 

He grabs at my waist, pulling me on top of him. "We are alone." He nuzzles into my neck, "No one to disturb us..." his voice drops low.

"I mean—" I freeze as he kisses down my neck and across my collar. "A nurse could definitely walk in."

"I doubt it. They're all at dinner." He hums, peppering kisses onto my skin.

Today felt different. Different than last time, he felt more gentle and calm? "Well?" He asks.

I look over my shoulder at the metal door, no one was on the other side and it was quiet. "I mean, if you can stay quiet."

Kylo chuckles, "Only if you can." Ugh, what a tease. He shuts his eyes and leans back. "But I'm injured."

I look at him, shocked. "What? You really are a fucking tease." I go to get off of him, but his hands hold me down.

_**I think you're missing what I'm insinuating**_.

_What? I'm confused_.

"Hm. You're still naive but I can fix that." He tugs at my trousers, pulling them down quickly. Kylo sits up and I help him untie the back of the hospital gown, placing it on the floor.

"You don't even have—" I look away, not even bothering to finish my sentence.

His fingers thread into my hair, making a ponytail and he pulls my head back. I wince as he does so. "Well?" Kylo asks, giving me a blank look.

"Well what?" I groan, his grip on my hair is tight as his free hand pulls down my underwear.

"Get on." He grunts, letting go of my hair. He lifts me up and I finally understand.

_Sometimes I just need a minute to process shit, Kylo._

_**I can tell.** _

He grins, teasing my entrance with his swollen tip. I moan and pain crosses my features as I sink down onto him. He bucks up into me and I hold onto his shoulders as he moves back and forth. "Fuck." I hiss, leaning my head on his. My hips move to meet his and his fingers tease at my clit.

He lets out a groan as I squeeze around him. "Just like that..." he mutters, kissing me with an open mouth.

My fingers move up into his hair as he moves me up and down, his dick pounding into me relentlessly. I cry out and pull away from him, "K-Kylo, _please_." My stomach tightens and butterflies soar in my heart as his fingers swirl around me. His other hand palms my breast. I moan as euphoria rushes through me, coming onto him without a second thought. "Ah— damn."

I kiss him again as he speeds up, it felt like he was about to split me in half as he slams into me. He moves back down to hold onto my hips, he lets out a hiss and mutters my name as we separate for a second. "Please..." I whine as I feel everything build up again, my hand drifts down between us, yet it's suddenly pulled away by an unseen force. "Kylo!" I squeak out, he pins my hands behind me with the Force.

"Only I can touch you." He says, a sweat builds up on his face.

I bite my lip, "Ah- I'm close again." I lock eyes with him, "Please, please let me come."

He stills for a second and I try to move my hips but he holds me in place, "Do you think you deserve to come again after what you did earlier?"

"No, but," I cry out as the Force buzzes around my clit. " _Fuck_. Maybe I do deserve it!"

"Only this once." Kylo hums as he rears back into me, the Force lets go of my arms and I hold onto him as I come again.

I call out his name as I do, crying out and wrapping my arms around his neck. " _Shit_ , Princess." He murmurs into my ear softly as his thrusts quicken, he groans as I clench around him. Kylo lets out a string of curses as he comes into me, I'm blind with satisfaction as he does so. "Do you like it when I fill you like that?"

"I do, _oh maker_ , yes I do." I moan.

"I'm the only one who can do that." His hand wraps around my throat as he makes me look at him. "Do you understand?" I pause and his hand tightens. "Do _you_?"

"Yes! Yes!" I mewl as he pulls out of me, I can feel his cum drip out of me and onto his lower stomach. “You’re the only one for me Kylo.”

Kylo leans back, resting his head on the pillows. "You're beautiful." He whispers, letting his hand rest back on my hips again. " _Gorgeous, so perfect_."

I blink, my eyes feel heavy. "I could say the same." I smile, running my hand through his wet hair.

But he shakes his head. "When I first saw you, I never thought I could be with you."

_Huh_? "Why are you bringing this up now?"

"I— never mind." He gives me a small smile, "We're here now."

"Together." I add.

"Right. Together." He says, "Get some rest."

"If I sleep, will you?"

"Of course."

I kiss his cheek, lips barely touching his cut. "Good night."

He hums, shutting his eyes as I lay down to rest on top of him. My worries finally melt away as I do.


	15. Chapter 15

It had been a few weeks since Kylo was released from the Medbay, he was cleared with a good bill of health and he was back doing his own thing. Unfortunately for me, I'm still going through my 'punishment' which is just basically getting all dolled up to sit next to Kylo during all these random meetings and plans.

Being bored had to be an understatement, because I have never been so damn bored in my life. Even back on U'Dar there were more things to do. Kylo didn't trust me on my own anymore, and I couldn't blame him, I lied to him and even snuck out, pretending to be a pilot. Tyler had noticed me once or twice, but they didn't say anything, and even Milo did as well. He actually attempted to talk to me before noticing who I was with.

It's safe to say I don't have any acquaintances left on this ship.

I'm not sure if Kylo meant to keep me isolated but it certainly feels that way. "Are you okay?" His voice pulls me out of my thoughts, we're currently mediating but all I can think about is him. "You aren't focused."

"No, I'm not. What am I supposed to be focusing on anyways?" I frown. We were practicing utilizing the force a lot more lately but I still didn't understand half of it.

"The energy within you and around us." He says, as if I would totally get that. "You need to learn how to focus on yourself first, that way you can get the most out of your own power."

"I'm _trying_. But it isn't working."

"You've done it plenty of times before, like how we talk when we aren't together." He hums, thinking back, "Or when you were able to locate me through the Force."

I shrug, closing my eyes once again and shutting everyone out. Kylo's breathing next to me was quickly silenced as I felt myself drop into a quiet room. I'm alone and there's nothing here, just me and a pool of water. I reach out to it and it ripples, going out even farther than what I can see. My reflection looks back at me and I jolt back. I take in a deep breath, opening my eyes. "I don't know what I saw, but that definitely wasn't the Force."

"It's your mind, we're all split in two. The light and the dark." Kylo explains. "You need to pick a side, I won't tell you which but... I think you know the answer."

Right. He's talking about the Dark Side. Something I wasn't too eager to pick. "Do I have to pick? Can't I just be neutral?"

"You can but is that the best choice for you?"

I mean... I have never felt pulled to either side. The light never called to me and neither did the dark. Two months ago I didn't even know that my powers were part of the Force, I just hid them away so I wouldn't be exiled from my family.

"I don't know." I tell him honestly, I search his eyes for some sort of answer, some guidance. "I really don't."

"You don't have to pick today. It's not an overnight thing." He gets up. "We're done for today."

I stretch my arms out, "Finally!"

"Tomorrow I think we'll go pick a crystal for you."

"Huh?" I stand up and follow him. "What crystal?"

"A Kyber crystal. For your saber." Kylo glances at me, but he keeps on walking ahead.

I pause and smile, "Wait, really?!" I catch up to him and hold onto his arm. "You're serious?"

"I'd never lie to you." His tone is sweet, it's something I haven't heard before.

"Wow! That's going to be so exciting." He wraps his arm around my waist, holding me close as we go back to his room. Or is it technically our room now?

"It is. But it will be a lot of work for you to train the crystal." He says, "They come colorless and you will use the Force to bend it to your will, make it yours."

"And then a color appears?" I think back to the various lightsabers I've heard about. "What if mine is blue or green?"

"Then it is." Kylo shrugs as he enters his bedroom. We fall quiet for a while and he speaks up, "But seeing as how divided you are, I doubt you'll have a saber that follows the typical Jedi path."

"Oh." Is all I can manage to say. He does a point, I doubt mine would come out blue... "we'll see what happens."

He nods silently as he steps into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. I sigh as I sit back on his bed, listening to the water fall in the shower. I was getting tired of looking around his room, seeing the same things everyday. I missed Bee, too. I wonder what it was up to? Maybe it made some new droid friends and forgot about me. I'll have to ask Kylo about that soon.

I sat there quietly with my eyes shut, lost in thought. "What are you thinking about?" I didn't even hear him come in, he calls out my name and I feel the mattress dip under his weight. "Princess?"

"Everything." I smile, "I miss having my own time."

"So you'd rather be alone than with me?" He asks.

I shake my head, "No, I— I don't know." I shrug, "I think I'm just tired."

"Ah." Kylo moves to lay down next to me, pulling me close to him and holding tight. "Then get some sleep."

"I don't want to." I mutter is into his chest, I felt like a doll. Like he wanted to protect me from the rest of the galaxy. Maybe that's why he didn't want to have a saber up until now, or why he hasn't taught me much about the Force.

"You overthink everything." His hand holds the back of my head, bringing me closer to him. "I don't think I remember a time when your thoughts were calm."

"Back home." I grumble.

Kylo chuckles, "Even when you were on U'Dar your thoughts were panicky. You felt trapped and your only way out was to sneak away and fly a beaten up ship."

"Yeah and it's starting to feel like that again." I frown, thankfully he can't see me.

"Do you feel trapped now?"

A moment of silence rises between us. Do I? Not necessarily but... "Just a little."

"I see." He takes a deep breath, "Would you like to visit U'Dar again?"

"I thought I wasn't able to go back until we got married?" I ask, eyes wide with confusion.

"You're right but I was thinking about having our wedding there." He sounds sincere. _Is he starting to get soft on me?_

I sit up, "Are you being serious?"

"Haven't I told you I'd never lie to you?"

A smile rises on my face, "You are being serious." I chuckle, "I would love that."

"I thought you would." He pauses, "And I'm not getting soft."

Kylo smiles back, he looks at me with a mix of love and carefulness as if he doesn't want to upset me. "That sounds perfect. But... I want all my friends to be there."

"Friends? Such as Ya'Mora?" He asks.

"I had more friends than him!" I cross my arms, "There was also... Minua and Tenne."

Sure, they were maids but they were also my closest friends and were close to my age. "And C-2IO, Bee as well.."

"What about your brother?" He asks and my heart falters a bit.

"He lives on Calda with his wife and son, I doubt they'd let him come to my wedding." I frown. My brother and I were never close especially since he was always busy being a diplomat and getting to be with his wife ever since I can remember. The two had been engaged since they were born so... "I don't see that happening. Besides! We aren't close."

"I can sense that. Your heart started racing." Kylo says, "That's okay. If you really wanted to, it could just be us two and an officiant."

I pause and think, "You know... that honestly sounds a lot better. Just us."

"I like that a lot more."

"Me too."

Kylo holds my hand with his, running his thumb over my knuckles. He's thinking about something, but the blocks in his mind are too strong for me to pass. "I think that's what we'll do." He finally decides. "Next month."

"Next month? But it's only been three months."

"I've decided to do it sooner rather than later."

He definitely isn't telling me something.

"What are you going to be doing?" I ask, "There's something happening."

"No, there isn't."

"You aren't telling me, Kylo." I furrow my brows, "Tell me. _Please_."

"Don't worry about it, Princess." Kylo scoffs.

"I am the biggest worrier on this damn ship! I'm going to worry about it whether you say so or not. So just spit it out."

"I'll tell you after we get married."

I throw my hands up in defeat, "You're literally the worst."

He does a double take, looking at me with anger. "Am I?"

"Yeah! You are!" I roll my eyes. "You have so many secrets and you won't tell me anything."

"I'm going to hunt down that scavenger and her little friends, destroy them all and take down their futile attempts at resistance." He growls, "I don't care what I have to do, as long as they are wiped out."

I lean backwards, trying to get away from him. But he pulls me back by the arm, "I will kill them. You may not agree with it but that is what will happen. That is what has to happen."

"Does it?" I ask, "Is mass-murder really the only way?"

"It's not mass-murder, these people are traitors. Liars." Kylo lets go of me, getting off the bed and he changes into his usual attire. "They've hurt a lot of people to get what they want."

"And you haven't?" I follow him, "Don't act like you have pure intentions. No one does, I'm not agreeing with these... people, but—"

"Princess, it's starting to sound like you are." He steps forward, backing me into a corner.

"No! I'm not!" I shake my head, pushing him back softly. "You just shouldn't go around killing all because... because..." I drift off.

_Because what? I didn't have a good enough answer for him. Kylo is doing this for a reason_.

"Because I want a better galaxy? One with order and peace?"

_He sounds like his grandfather._

"You need to get out." Kylo seethes down at me, dragging me out of his room by my arm. His grip is tight around me and I cry out in pain.

"Ouch! Kylo don't do this, please." I frown, tears starting to well up, "Don't shut me out every time."

He pushes me out of his room, leaving me out there as I hear him clatter and shout from the other side. "Kylo!" I bang on the door, trying to get his attention.

A sudden pull slams me back into the hallway's wall, my head hitting the metal pipes above me. A scream leaves my throat and I slump down, darkness filling my vision as a wet pool begins to cover the back of my head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 😳 ruh roh
> 
> also ty to everyone who is reading!! i love you all <3 <3   
> i'm not sure how long this story will go on for, but it'll be at least 30 chapters :)


	16. Chapter 16

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

I groan, trying to reach over to stop that annoying beeping, but my hand only smacked a metal rod. "Ouch.." I hiss, opening my eyes and pulling my hand close. My vision is blurred as I look around the room and a pain throbs across the back of my head. Where am I? All I can remember is hitting my head on something and everything before that is just a blur.

Someone enters the room and they start talking about something but I can't understand them as a piercing noise rings in my ears. My head falls back against the pillows as I black out once again.

This sucks. I'm alone with my own thoughts and I can't even remember what the hell happened to me. A bright light shines into my eyes, muffled words are spoken aloud as I finally blink back into consciousness again. "Hello?" I ask with a hoarse voice.

"Ah, so you're actually awake this time?" The doctor asks, he looks at a clipboard, flipping through various papers. I nod and he continues. "Good, you hit your head pretty badly when you fell. You need to be careful."

I fell and hit my head? That didn't sound right but I couldn't argue, I didn't remember anything at all. "I did?"

"Yes. You did." He looks away, a hint of nervousness laced in his words. "You'll be able to go later today, Commander Ren will be getting you."

I shake my head, "No I don't want to go see him." I do remember our argument, everything after that was a blur.

"I'm sorry but he's got me on strict orders." He checks the bandages wrapped around my head, then leaves without another word.

I huff, leaning back slightly without putting too much pressure on my head. Screw you, Kylo Ren. I can't believe I'm still going to be stuck with him as I recover from my accident. A nurse calls out my name as she enters the room, a kind smile on her face as she walks up to me. "I just wanted to let you know that you have a mild concussion, so you'll be on bed rest for the next two weeks or so. But good news! Nothing happened to your baby, so there's no need to worry about them."

"What?" I sputter out, " _my baby_?"

She nods, raising my eyebrow. "Yes, you're about two months pregnant now."

My jaw drops, "You're serious?"

"Well of course! Did you not know?"

I didn't. Everything was normal and nothing felt off. No sickness, no nothing. "I didn't."

"Oh well, sorry to drop such serious news. But congratulations nonetheless." She smiles and exits, leaving me there with this heart-wrenching news.

"I'm pregnant. With a baby. _His_ baby. Kylo Ren's baby?" I shake my head, rubbing my eyes with my fingers. "That doesn't sound right."

_Oh stars, can I go home yet? I just want to curl up into a little ball and wither away._

"I'm having a baby." I rest my hands on top of my stomach, "This cannot be happening."

_I think I'm going crazy! This is all laughable, there's no way. But, we weren't really trying to not get me pregnant in the first place. I had barely even noticed every time he..._

"Princess." The warbled voice of Kylo Ren breaks my trance.

"Yes?" I don't look up, there's no way I can look at him right now.

"I see you've got the news." He steps forward but keeps a good distance. "How are you feeling?"

"Confused." I say.

"I'm sorry." He shakes his head.

"For what?"

He pauses, thinking about something, "For not being more careful. I should've... paid more attention."

"It's my fault too, Kylo." I sigh, "But I'm upset. Of course I am! I'm still mad at you for our argument."

"I feel like you're always mad, love." He settles down in the chair by the bed, taking off his helmet and resting it on his knee. "One moment you adore me and the next you want to destroy me. Why?"

"Because I feel like you think the same when it comes to me." I shrug, "Hate and love, it's what makes life go I suppose."

"Does it have to?"

"Are you looking for a heartfelt confession, Ren? It certainly isn't going to come out now."

He quiets down, not saying anything. We sit there silently for what felt like forever, Kylo shifts and looks at the door. "I'll be right back." He gets up, ditching his helmet as he walks out, as the door opens I can see a glimpse of one of his Knights lingering outside.

I gaze at his helmet, looking at all the cracks that had been welded back together. Why not just get a new helmet? I'll never understand how Kylo thinks. _I don't think I ever will._

"Think what?" Kylo steps back in, a stern look etched on his features.

"I'm just overthinking." I say, my hands make their way back onto my stomach.

He sits back down in his spot, quiet as his eyes look at my hands. We're quiet once again. I'm speechless at the fact that he doesn't have anything to say to me, other than an apology. Did he really need to be sorry for this? More importantly, did I want to go through with this?

I guess it's too late at this point.

"I'm taking you home." Kylo says, "Back to U'Dar."

My head snaps over, looking at him with shock. "You're just going to dump me there?"

A pause. That moment of hesitation in his eyes made it clear that he really didn't want to. "You'd be safer."

"I think I'm a lot safer with you. Besides my parents would publicly execute me if I show up unmarried and pregnant." I cross my arms, "Are you scared?"

"For having a child? No." He shakes his head, "I'm scared of hurting the both of you."

I blink, speechless.

The unexpected truth that tumbled from his lips made my heart wrench and eyes tear up. "Kylo..."

" _Ben_." He whispers.

"Ben?"

"That's my real name."

I finally feel the tears roll down my face, a true moment between us. He reaches forward, holding me close to his chest. I sniffle, grasping onto his shirt as if he was about to disappear. "Please don't leave me alone." I sob, afraid to lose someone I truly love. "I love you, please don't. Please, _Ben_."

His breath hitches and his fingers tighten around me. Something wet drips onto the top of my head and I crane my neck to look at him. His eyes are rimmed with red as a few teardrops roll down. "I love you too. I would never— I'm sorry I even suggested it."

A confession. Something sparked between us for what felt like the first time ever. Just pure love? Is that what it feels like? Being totally enamored by another's presence that you feel like you can't live without them anymore?

"We'll figure it out. I know we can." He mutters, kissing my forehead, " _I love you_ , princess, and I want you to trust me more. Trust that I will never let go."

I nod, wiping away his tears with my thumbs. "I want that too. More than anything."

Kylo— Ben, shivers under my touch, and I'm scared to move. I don't want to ruin the moment. "Let's go back to our room."

"That sounds nice." I nod and he stands up, handing me a fresh set of clothes from the table. I get up, immediately tripping over air and he grabs onto my arms.

"Careful." He murmurs, "I'll help you."

I nod, wincing at the dull pain seeping back into my skull. Once I was dressed, he holds onto me tightly as we leave the medbay, I'm just glad to be out of that stuffy room. One nurse calls out to me, saying something about how I should still be resting. "She's fine, I'm taking her out of there." Kylo barks back at the nurse, who nods and steps out of his way.

I shoot him an apologetic look, gripping onto Kylo tightly. "You need to work on your people skills." I grumble.

"The only thing I need to work on right now is making you happier." He states, not even hesitating on anything he just said to me.

"Uh..." A stupid looking grin appears on my face, "Yeah. I guess so."

Kylo's lips twitch up as he leads the way back to his— _mmm, nope it's our room now right?_

_**That's right. Ours.** _

"What about Bee?" I ask as he slides open the door.

"It'll be fine." He hums, "I think it's having fun with new droid friends."

"That's the first time I've ever heard you say fun and friends." I tease, sitting down at the foot of our bed. "I'm being serious!"

He chuckles, "Maybe I should slow down, then."

"Only a little, my heart can only handle so much from you." I say, clutching at my chest.

Kylo takes a seat next to me, running his hand across the back of my head gently. "I'm glad you're okay."

"Me too, especially since it's my head." I sigh. "At least it'll heal soon."

The tip of his finger grazes over a stitch and I hiss, pulling away from him. "Ow!"

He freezes, taking his hand away from my head. "I'm sorry. Did I hurt you more?"

"A bit." I shake my head, "but it's okay. I'm okay."

"Okay." He doesn't sound too convinced but he doesn't press on. "Get some more sleep, alright? I'll get us dinner and I'll wake you up then."

Kylo tucks me into the many blankets on his bed. "Alright, mother." I stifle a laugh.

"Hush." He runs his fingers down the side of my face. "I'll be back."

As soon as I shut my eyes, I'm out like a light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don’t think i’m going to have princess try to figure out that it was actually kylo who had hurt her. besides he somewhat apologizes for it anyways? idk but i just kind of want to end it like that, it feels like a kylo kind of thing. 
> 
> also the L-word totally comes out and i really hope it isn’t too early for it! but he knocked her up so,,, uhhhhh it probably is an okay time for it.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just smut ahaha   
> also i apologize for not updating! just had a writers block (i also started school and got into other fandoms sooo) but i’ll be catching up with everything soon :’)

The bed dips next to me, which causes me to stir and wake up. "Kylo?" I whisper, reaching behind me to feel around.

"Are you okay?" He asks, tone laced with concern.

Our room is dark, the only light in here is the dim bathroom light. I turn over to look at him, he smiles tiredly at me. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's okay, I think I've slept enough these past few days." I say, "But you look so exhausted."

"I'm very busy, Princess." He hums, closing his eyes as my fingers brush through his hair. My hand gets caught in a knot and I tug gently, a soft groan escapes from him.

"Sorry." I mutter, "did that hurt?"

"Far from it." A blush rises onto my cheeks as I continue to play with his hair. "Princess..."

Kylo sits up, his hand drifts under my shirt. "Huh?" I smile, "What are you doing?"

He grunts, wordlessly pulling up my shirt and throwing it off to the side. "Come here." He climbs above me, kissing me with an open mouth.

I moan into him, his tongue explores me and I wince as his other hand pulls at my hair. "Careful." I remind him of my recent injuries. He quickly apologizes, fussing over me with concern. "I'm fine just... watch out."

I pull him back close again, his lips drift across my jaw, then my neck and then my collar. He leaves wet and dark spots along his way, "I love you." Kylo says, he repeats it again and again, kissing me across my breasts as his hand continues toying with one nipple. His teeth tug at the one he kissed, sucking and groping.

Moans escape me, I writhe under him as his crotch grinds onto mine. "Shit, please."

"Can't we take our time?" He pulls away, teasing me with that stupid smile. The one I love so much, the one I never get to see.

"Maybe just pick up the pace a little, yeah? Don't leave me hanging." I groan, rising my hips up to meet his.

Kylo chuckles, tugging off my underwear as he kisses down my stomach and across my pelvis. I whine as his fingers ghost over my opening and clit, he teases me with one finger as his lips kiss me. I'm careful not to throw my head back, but it's pretty damn hard when he's eating me out like that.

He pushes a finger into me, sucking my clit as if it was the last thing he'd ever do. He moans as I grasp at his hair, coaxing him to continue on. "K- _Ben_!" I gasp, two fingers thrusting in and out of me sloppily. I grab at the bed sheets, shaky legs barely able to stay up as my climax rolls over me.

Ben kisses me one last time, pulling away and licking his fingers clean. "You're such a good treat, _Princess_." He smiles, tugging off his belt and grabbing my arms.

"What are you doing?" I ask, he holds my arms against my back and ties them together with the belt.

"Relax." He coos, pushing me back gently to lay on my stomach.

With my face squished against the pillows, my eyes widen as I come to a realization of what he's actually going to do to me. "Comfortable?" I can't see him, but I can certainly tell he's relishing the view I'm giving him. 

"Not exactly..." I turn my head to the side, barely able to see Kylo's looming figure. "What are you going to do?"

He chuckles, shaking his head as his hand runs over my ass, squeezing it. "You've been so bad these past few days, you know that right?"

I scoff, his hand slaps down onto my skin and I hiss. "What the hell?"

"You have no place to talk like that." Bunched up fabric is shoved into my mouth, muffling any words that I try to say.

_What the hell are you trying to do?_

"Just relax." He hums, soothing my stinging skin before hitting me once more. His other hand drifts down, prodding at my entrance and then entering with a wet noise. "I thought you would have learned your lesson the first time but honestly... I don't think you have."

My moans are muffled, I squirm beneath him as he slaps me again. "If you are a good girl, it'd be wise to just stay still." He growls into my ear, kissing the side of my head gently. 

_Is this what gets you off?_

I can feel the force buzz around my neck before it begins to suffocate me, I try to cough and he stops. "So naughty." Kylo coos, pulling his fingers out while I shiver at the sudden lack of touch.

" _Pwes_ \--" The words are cut off, I can't make a sound with this fabric.

"Trying to talk? Go ahead, tell me what you want." He removes it from my mouth and I take in a heavy breath of air. 

"Please, Kylo," I beg, "Please do something to me, anything!"

"Anything?"

" _No_ not anything-- but something, please, _please_!" I whine and continue to rant on before he stuffs the fabric back in my mouth.

He groans, a hint of annoyance as he does so, "I like you better with your panties between your teeth."

My eyes widen, realizing that I'm chomping down on my own underwear. 

_How degrading. Fuck you, Ben._

"Huh, that's _exactly_ what I'll be doing." He forces my head back down, that way I'm looking at nothing except the pillows. I hear Kylo shuffle, his pants hitting the ground somewhere and he plunges into me with one fell swoop. Moans are choked back as he thrusts in and out of me, holding onto my hips so tight that they might just be bruised in the morning. He curses under his breath, growling something about me that I can't catch. My vision is blurred with tears as he takes me, I didn't exactly know how to feel about this. But the way his dick hit into me was just...

_Fuck, please, Ben, please let me talk!_

Another slap to my burning skin, "Shut up." He growls, lifting me up so my back is against his chest. He fumbles, pulling my underwear out of my mouth. 

"Fuck!" I cry out, moaning at the sudden change of positions. "Please, please let me cum." His teeth bite against my neck, suckling at the sensitive skin.

"Only if you're being a good girl, Princess." He hums, wrapping his hand around my neck.

"Yes, I am, I promise, please I'll do anything for you." 

My mind is consumed with him and only him. I didn't know if this was just Kylo using the Force on me, but I only knew one thing. "Please, I want you so bad, I know I already have you but..." A sob escapes me as he pushes me back against the mattress, groaning as he slams into me. "Please, I'll do anything, I'll be your wife until I die!"

"You won't be dying anytime, Princess." He mutters, finally releasing whatever hold he had on me to let me cum. Pleasure and euphoria racks my body as I struggle to breathe, "That's right, cum for me."

"O-Only for you..." I wheeze, letting him have his way until he cums. "Please..."

Kylo moans, thrusting into me as he cums, releasing himself inside of me. "Fuck..." He hisses, slowing down before coming to a stop. "I love you." He says as he pulls himself out of me, untying his belt and throwing it to the side. I roll onto my back, looking up at Kylo, his hair stuck to his forehead, but the way he looked down onto me. With his soft eyes and reddened lips. He looked at me like I was the only thing he had left.

"I love you too." I murmur, he leans down and presses a final kiss onto my stomach. Kylo lays back down, pulling me into him closely. "Kylo?"

"I'm okay."

I nod, staying silent as he rubs my back gently, "I'm... happy." He says after a long pause.

"I am too." I smile, looking up at him.

For the first time, I saw hope in his eyes. I didn't know for what exactly... but I wish that he'll tell me soon enough.


	18. Chapter 18

Days had passed since I last saw Kylo, the last thing he and I did together was pick out a kyber crystal. Then he had disappeared after telling me to focus all my energy into it. "The hell did he mean focus my energy? It's a rock." I groan, Bee rolls around me with a new droid it had befriended. I stare at the small, clear crystal in frustration. This is dumb. Where is Kylo? Can't he help me with this?

"Maybe I just need a walk." I get up, digging around my closet for something to wear. I change into the first few things I see then I pull on a pair of socks, leaving my room with the two droids behind me. Bee rolls ahead of me with it's friend, who I named Graia, an endearing term in U'Darian. I wander into a quiet bay with a large window looking off into space, bright planets and stars shine as we fly by them slowly. I sit in front of it, gazing off at the sight before me. Never had I ever felt so close to the whole galaxy before.

It felt like I had it in the palms of my hands. There for the taking. I look down at the crystal in my hand, I must've been squeezing it too hard as it had left indents in my skin yet it is still clear and uncolored. I frown and stick it in my pocket, maybe I just didn't have the potential that Kylo thinks I have. I pull my knees to my chest and stare off into space once more as Bee and Graia chitter behind me. A searing pain travels through my skull and I hiss, grasping at the side of my head and hair. "What the—" I squeeze my eyes shut, a vision of Kylo fills my mind as he calls out to me. "Kylo?"

He's standing in a strange place, while my half is still on the ship. His helmet is shattered around him as he stares at me with worried eyes. "Are you okay? Did anyone get to you?"

"What are you talking about? I'm fine. I'm here on the ship." I shake my head, "I think I should be the worried one."

"I'm okay, don't worry about it." He looks around him but I can't see what he's trying to find. "I have to go. Be safe."

The pain disappears and I open my eyes, I'm back on the ship. Alone with my droids. What the hell had happened? He looked like a mess. My hands drift down to my stomach, rubbing at the non-existent baby bump softly. A soft crack echoes from my pocket. I dig around and pull out the crystal. It had cracked into two pieces, now glowing a bright orange. "Ha!" I stand up, holding the two pieces in each hand. "It changed! Look!" I show them to the two curious droids and they chirp with excitement and curiosity. "But it cracked... I don't think that's good."

"Princess." General Hux calls from the other side of the room. When did he get there? "I have urgent orders to take you off this ship and back to your home on U'Dar."

"Huh?" I put the crystals back into my pocket. "What are you on about?"

"I don't think you should be defying orders from Ren, now let's go." He grumbles, turning around and walking off. I rush to catch up with him.

"You know I don't believe you."

"That's fine."

I groan. "What's going on? Why do I suddenly have to head home to U'Dar?" My stomach twists with anxiety. This doesn't make any sense. Is he just done with me? "Well?"

Hux stops in front of Kylo's room. "Gather your things. We don't have much time."

"No!" I shake my head, "You need to tell me what's going on before I... I don't know what I'll do but it won't be nice!"

He scoffs and shakes his head, ignoring my empty threat as he walks off. "Meet me in the ship bay in an hour."

I stare at his retreating figure, mouth agape as I hear Bee and Graia roll up behind me. "This is unbelievable." I enter the room and search around for a bag that can hold what few things I managed to bring. " _Shiien_ , this is stupid. Ugh. _Dram ey_. You know what Bee? _Zeygh tre._ " It chitters from behind me as more curses slip from my mouth. "Yes, I am pissed off."

It chirps and I shove my small jewelry box into the bag, "Now I have to go back to U'Dar, _unwed_ and _pregnant_!" I roll my eyes, "I hate..."

_Hate what? Kylo Ren? I don't think I could. I know I hate Hux, that's for sure._ "I hate everything."

I throw the bag over my shoulder, looking back at the Commander's room for what could be the last time. Bee and Graia chatter, probably getting me to hurry up. I leave the room without another thought and storm down the hall, heading over to the ship bay. There were a number of things going on, mainly it was Hux and a few others commanding troopers around to get everything sorted.

"Ah, finally." Hux turns to me, "Do you have everything?"

I narrow my eyes, scowling. "Everything except a husband."

"The petty attitude can wait until you're back home, Princess." He quips back. My jaw drops, I throw curses at him in U'Darian as he watches me with an amused grin. "My goodness, I truly can't imagine how Commander Ren can love someone such as you."

"I'm done. You know what? I'm actually happy I'm leaving. That way I won't have to deal with your shit-stained attitude anymore." I board the ship, ignoring the idiotic words he continues to spew. I hear a few more people board behind me, I settle down in a mostly empty room and sit on a hard chair.

_This is so... so dumb._

_I'm sorry to hear that, Princess._

I look up frantically, a strange voice fills my head as I try to find out who that was. Another user of the Force? They had to be close by. A figure clad in all black, who seemed to be awfully familiar looking, stepped into the room. "I didn't mean to catch you off guard." He says, voice garbled by the helmet he wore. He was like Ren... but not exactly. I watch him with weary eyes, making sure to remember that he certainly is armed and potentially dangerous. "I am Vicrul." He set his blade down against the wall.

"Why are you here?" I cross my arms, hoping to shoo him away. "I didn't ask for company."

"Jeez, you are a little fireball." A small chuckle escapes him. "I'm one of the Knights of Ren, your beloved Kylo is my master. He sent along me to protect you."

"I don't need protecting."

"Hm, I doubt that. You're about to be the most wanted person in the galaxy by the Rebels."

"What do you mean?" I raise an eyebrow, rubbing my hands against legs nervously. "What makes you say that?"

" _Well_ do you truly wish to know?"

"Of course I do! This is my life we're talking about!"

Vicrul settles down on the floor across from me. "Ren has just done a heavy blow to the Rebels, blowing up their fleet and their general."

I furrow my brows. "Okay...?"

"The general of the Rebels was Leia Organa, his mother."

The air turns cold as I press my nails into my skin. " _Huh_? Did I hear that right?"

The man nods silently, continuing on, "yes. So, the Rebels are upset. They're going to want to go after someone precious to Ren. Luckily for you, your presence has been made public thanks to a spy among us."

My head feels heavy as I shake my head. "There's no way. Do they want to kill me?"

"We aren't sure yet. We're still trying to discover who the spy is. All I know is that he's on this ship with us." Vicrul says, "The only person you can trust right now is me."

"Okay... if B- Kylo put his faith into you, then so can I." I nod, hesitant to agree but there's nothing else I can do. "Will he be coming to U'Dar soon to meet us?"

"I'm not sure. He took the other knights off on a mission."

"Oh..." I frown.

"Don't worry Princess," His tone shifts, sounding a little more soothing and calm. "I'm sure he'll come back to get you. We won't be able to leave U'Dar until he gets us himself."

I nod, looking out the small porthole and at the stars that flew past us at light speed. "Alright then." I frown.

That was the end of our conversation. My heart throbs with pain as I finally come to terms with what has just been told to me. _I could be on U'Dar alone for maker knows how long. Without Ben_. I squeeze my eyes shut and sigh, holding back any tears that threaten to fall. _Right now, I just need to stay strong. Even if it's just a façade._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is this angsty enough? idek  
> it’s just the princess complaining 99% of the time... but that’s okay! kylo will be coming back at some point :) for now we have the adventures of vicrul and you <3


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